Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives?
A parent-child relationship is a very special bond. When
children
are young, they have a dependency on their parents
hence
, they stay connected to them. As they grow old, the distance is created in that relationship. In my opinion, parents
should also
try to reduce the connection with their children
and provide them freedom
as they grow older.
To start with, when children
grow older, they experience many hormonal changes and due to
that, they try to maintain distance from their parents
. After passing the teenage, children
generally try to get closer to their parents
as they seek support during their adult phase. For example
, my brother never stayed away from his parents
but as he grew older, he used to stay away from his family. After a while
, he again felt connected when he was 25. Hence
, the bond always varies from children
's perspective.
However
, parents
should also
understand the need for freedom
on behalf of their children
. After a certain age, parents
should give their children
some space so they can live peacefully without any mental pressure. Once they grow older and turn into adults, parents
should have a limited relationship with their children
. For instance
, being a kid, I was very much connected with my parents
. As I grew older, my parents
provided me freedom
. Change preposition
with freedom
Due to
that, I can now provide the same freedom
and space to my family.
To conclude
, children
try to maintain distance from their parents
during different stages of their life. At the same time, parents
should let their children
live freely. Also
, taking care of the parents
is children
's responsibility and they should be always available for their parents
when they are in need of help.Submitted by tirththakkar23 on
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Structure
Continue to develop clear, distinct paragraphs for each of your main points. This helps in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.
Cohesion
Using a wider range of linking words and phrases could further improve coherence and cohesion. This also makes your essay more engaging and easier to follow.
Supporting Details
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Depth of Analysis
Though the essay adequately addresses the topic, a more in-depth exploration of the parents’ role in their adult children's lives could offer a stronger task response.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly presenting the topic and your viewpoint.
Transition
The transition between paragraphs is smooth, which helps in maintaining the flow of ideas and arguments throughout the essay.
Balanced Argument
You’ve maintained a balanced view by considering both the children's need for independence and the enduring importance of the parent-child bond, which adds depth to your argument.
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