Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A number of people believe that
children
should be encouraged to compete, to awaken their sense of it. Others think that cooperative
children
will become more useful when they are older rather than
kids
who are taught to be competitive. I strongly agree that a sense of competition should be taught from a young age because it will
mold
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mould
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them to be a tough adult. Competition should be taught to the
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
as soon as possible. Learning the atmosphere of
the
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apply
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it at an early age will teach them how to survive in life.
Moreover
, being competitive will shape their mental, mind, work ethic, attitude, and their grit.
For example
, introducing
children
to sports and making them play a competitive match will mould the
kids
to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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tougher
person
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people
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. The young adolescents who are used to participating in the competition will know that they must work hard to become the champion.
This
mentality will stick to them throughout their life. On the other side, many think that cooperative
children
will become more useful. It is true that having someone with a cooperative mindset in the team will make things much easier. They will do the order as
precise
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precisely
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as it is, getting things done.
However
, there will be disadvantages
such
as lack of creativity and they tend to be a yes man. Teaching the
kids
to only become cooperative people will have a drawback. They will not be able to communicate their own view when it is needed,
this
is because throughout their entire childhood, they are taught to be obedient. In conclusion, teaching
children
in a competitive atmosphere since they are little should be encouraged since it will make them become great adults later in life. It aligns with an old saying, a smooth sea will never make a good sailor. Being cooperative is
also
important,
however
, it is not the only thing that should be taught to the
kids
.
Submitted by nputera.ramadhani on

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relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
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Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is good, with a clear division between arguments and counterarguments.
complete response
You have provided a complete response to the task by discussing both perspectives and offering your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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