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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Living in a a country where you have to speak foreign Language can cause serious social. problems, as well as practical problems. To What extent do you agree or dis agrees?

#country #language #dis
Taking your time in a place where you need to communicate in not your native
Language
 can
occur
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 hard occasions in
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
 and practical
sphere
Fix the agreement mistake
spheres
show examples
 of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 idea because the way you deal with
surrounding
Correct article usage
the surrounding
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 World changes your own fate.
At
Change preposition
First
show examples
first,
we need to understand that the
language
 shows and includes the culture and the mental case of its native.
Although
, it provides information during speaking between people.
For example
, the first person we see
while
 arriving new country is a
custom
Replace the word
customs
show examples
 officer, who is checking your documents. If there is some mess there, it would be hard to cooperate with him without
Correct article usage
the elenentary
show examples
elenentary
Correct your spelling
elementary
 skills
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
language
 he operates or an international one. And influences to
apear
Correct your spelling
appear
 the list of
misunderstadings
Correct your spelling
misunderstandings
misunderstanding
 in your society's place.
Due to
 the research presented by International
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
Research
show examples
 ltd.data shows increasing of
such
 happenings up to 22%.
However
, what is the polite word in your region, could be
inpolite
Correct your spelling
impolite
 in
other area
Change the wording
another area
other areas
show examples
. That's why I
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
 the trend of being bilingual and learning
traditions
Correct article usage
the traditions
show examples
 of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different nations.
On the other hand
, what we
saying
Wrong verb form
say
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depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on the practical part of our life.
Furthermore
, if you
asking
Wrong verb form
ask
show examples
 a help, but nobody does not understand your wish,
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 great trouble.
For example
, during
rescue
Add an article
a rescue
the rescue
show examples
 operation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
West India in 1998, the hardest issue was
unknowing
Correct article usage
the unknowing
show examples
language
Change preposition
of language
show examples
 by
saved
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 tourists,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 concerns
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
32% of
injures
Replace the word
injuries
show examples
.
According to
 the previous
information
Add a comma
information,
show examples
 I believe that
Language
 influences to practical part of life. In conclusion, there is no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
alternative to keep life under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control without knowing the right way of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication, in other way it would
hurts
Change the verb form
hurt
show examples
 you in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practise
Replace the word
practice
show examples
 and in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societal
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
Submitted by interclass1982 on

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Grammar
Try to avoid spelling and grammatical mistakes. For instance, 'occur hard occasions' should be 'cause difficult situations' and 'a custom officer' should be 'a customs officer'.
Structure
Work on developing a clearer structure in your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point that directly supports your thesis statement.
Examples
Use more specific and relevant examples to bolster your arguments. For instance, provide real-life scenarios where knowing the local language can make a significant difference.
Conclusion
Ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of your essay without introducing new ideas.
Introduction
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it.
Arguments
The essay contains logical arguments and points are reasonably well-supported.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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