Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same events on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#live #performance #play #concert #event #events #television

this

digitalized world, people witnessing a memorable event with contemporary gadgets

such

as television is not peculiar.

Thus

, the debate of whether watching

such

plays on television is more entertaining than seeing them in person has prevailed. In

this

essay, I will discuss both forms and give my own opinion.

Firstly

, watching

such

events on devices still has its advantages.

Instead

of spending money on concentrated facilities, people can watch

such

performances at their or other’s accommodation, which could satiate their convenience and needs,

thus

stimulating their experience.

Furthermore

, the practice of gathering to watch

such

events has recently emerged,

such

as throwing a watching party or simply having dinner together, which could

further

increase their bonding with acquaintances.

However

, I would advocate that the advantages of watching

such

performances in person outweigh the former statements. For entertainment and enjoyment quality and purpose, witnessing in person could stimulate the excitement the feeling of the performer wants to convey.

Such

as participating in a live choir,

instead

of listening to the performance at home, going to an auditorium could help the viewers comprehend and decipher their feelings more vividly.

Moreover

, going to

such

a place could

also

ameliorate bonding with others, especially strangers,

thus

creating new friends and encouraging more relationships to be made and strengthened. In conclusion,

while

the advantages of the modernization practice have been pronounced, I believe the benefits of the conventionals still overweight the former premise.

Submitted by bendy.anhle on Tue May 28 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. However, there is some room for improvement in terms of supporting your main points with more specific examples. Try to include more concrete instances in both the benefits of watching live performances and watching them on television.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a logical structure, some of the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more transitional phrases to improve the flow of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

Your essay touches upon relevant points for both sides of the argument, but it would benefit from a more balanced elaboration. Spend equal time discussing the pros and cons rather than focusing more on one side.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is engaging and sets a clear context for the discussion that follows.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your final stance on the issue, which enhances the coherence of your essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

You've made some valid points regarding both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same events on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Title :Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, whileothers require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which is better?

Some people think that tourists should follow the traditional customs of the host country. Do you agree or disagree?

In your opinion how can government of each country eradicate or lessen the crimes committed by their own people use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?