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Band 5

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #car-free #air #pollution
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the effective
ways
 used to make a reduction in
air
pollution
.
While
 some hold a strong view that days without car usage are efficacious
ways
 to deal with
such
 issues, the opposite makes a statement that other measures are far more efficient. From my point of view, though the former is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 latter. On the one hand, there are some justifications which prove that
air
pollution
 can be alleviated if
no-car
Correct your spelling
no car
show examples
 usage for days
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
To begin
 with, by using public transportation, people can contribute to reducing the number of private vehicles on the road, promoting cleaner energy sources.
For example
,
instead
 of cars, commuters may utilize public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
,
such
 as trains,
buses
Correct word choice
and buses
show examples
, as all of these have less detrimental
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on the natural environment, and mitigate the fossil fuels
as well as
 toxic gases released into the
air
.
In addition
, during rush hours, the large number of cars that move along roads may lead to harmful effects
due to
 the slow influx of traffic,
such
 as emitting carbon footprints. So, if no-car rules are used, individuals have to commute by buses, trains, or even bikes, which
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 energy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the environment.
While
 car-free days are effective methods to lessen polluted
air
, these are not the optimal
ways
 since the most practical and effective solution lies in enhancing human awareness of environmental protection.
Firstly
, there are many uses in homes and other personal purposes, like burning firewood and coal which will be another factor causing
air
pollution
, thereby they can reduce the frequency of use if it is not necessary.
Secondly
, individuals may launch campaigns needed to limit the release of hazardous waste into the environment,
actively
Correct word choice
and actively
show examples
 remediate polluted environments.
Hence
, there are still other
ways
 to handle
air
pollution
. In conclusion,
although
 vehicles are a major reason for
air
pollution
, raising citizens’ perceptions about environmental conservation is more significant to
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a deterioration in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
atmosphere
pollution
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that supporting sentences are directly relevant to that point.
coherence cohesion
Work on clearer topic sentences to make main arguments more identifiable.
coherence cohesion
Improve the consistency of ideas by using a logical progression between paragraphs.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas more comprehensively to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to back up your points, making the essay more robust.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views and gives a personal opinion, covering the task requirements well.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, setting up the topic and summarizing the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is relatively coherent, with logical transitions between points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • emissions standards
  • renewable energy
  • environmentally friendly
  • public transportation
  • pedestrian zones
  • commuter behavior
  • awareness
  • incentives
  • air pollution
What to do next:
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