Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is often said that it is more vital to use the money on motorways and
roads
, rather than on
vehicles
for the public like trams and railways.
This
writer believes that it is crucial to improve public transport rather than the
roads
due to
the reason of
environment
and prices, despite who thinks that the motorways can be convenient. It must be understood that public transportation plays a vital role in protecting the
environment
.
In other words
, there are some trams and subways in some developed countries
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
run by electricity so that they can avoid emitting pollutants into the
environment
. Take Japan as an example, they have invented many subways which use electricity to run,
as a consequence
, Japan is one of the countries which own the cleanest air in the globe.
Thus
, the public traffic can be friendly to the
environment
.
However
, some people argue that private transportation running on
roads
can be more convenient.
This
may be true, but many governments are now building an effective public traffic system to serve their citizens.
As a consequence
, using private
vehicles
now is not as effective as public in some places.
Thus
, using modern public
vehicles
can minimize the inconvenience of travel One more part worth considering is that the prices of public services are much cheaper than private ones.
This
means that with just only 1 ticket per person, they can travel all the routes that the
vehicles
contain.
This
is more effective compared to the price
to run
Change preposition
of running
show examples
their own
vehicles
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
gasoline.
For example
, in Vietnam, with only 7000 dongs (approximately 0,28 dollars), the residents in Ho Chi Minh City can travel around some centre wards in
this
city, much cheaper than running on the same route with private transportation. If
this
situation continues, private traffic will be less beneficial in prices than public ones. In conclusion, using public services is more eco-friendly and cost-effective than private ones,
although
it brings inconvenience to the citizens compared to private
vehicles
.
Furthermore
, it is more crucial to use the fund on public transport systems than motorways and
roads
.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure and the main points are well-supported with relevant examples. However, making sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your overall argument will further improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
While your response is complete and your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, be cautious about minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing which can hinder clarity to some extent.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay is nicely structured with an evident introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Japan and Vietnam, which help to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • social equity
  • urban development
  • sustainable
  • mobility needs
  • revitalization
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • reliance
  • combatting
  • mitigating
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