The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

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The diagram depicts the process of producing

bricks

Use synonyms

for

building

Correct article usage

the building

show examples

industry.

Overall

Linking Words

, the process requires seven steps in total. It starts with accumulating the clay and ends with fully packaged

bricks

Use synonyms

in the delivery trucks. The production begins with a specialized machine digging through the earth to collect clay.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, it is

then

Linking Words

placed on a metal grid through which it goes down to the roller.

The next step is

Linking Words

moulding the substance which is achieved by blending clay,

water

Correct word choice

and water

show examples

, send together and cutting them into

bricks

Use synonyms

via

wire

Correct article usage

a wire

show examples

cutter.

Linking Words

Consequently

Add a comma

Consequently,

show examples

the

bricks

Use synonyms

are

then

Linking Words

deposited into

oven

Add an article

the oven

show examples

to dry for 24-48 hours. The temperature of the ovens has

threee

Correct your spelling

three

the

stages through which they dry.

The

Change preposition

In the

show examples

first part the temperature attains a moderate of 200-980 degrees

celciums

Correct your spelling

celsius

Celcius

calciums

, meanwhile the next is higher by nearly half.

Then

Linking Words

, during

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

48-72 hours after it has been moulded, the products

are cooling

Wrong verb form

cool

show examples

off in

chamber

Correct article usage

the chamber

show examples

Finally

Linking Words

bricks

Use synonyms

go through packaging and

put

Add a missing verb

are put

show examples

into trucks to be delivered. The process commences again.

katenok200312Tue May 28 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

169 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

diagram
manufacture
bricks
building industry
process
dig
prepare
clay
mold
shape
dry
fire
kiln
cool
package
fired
overview
importance

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The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

The family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children's life. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?