The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
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The diagram depicts the process of producing
bricks
Use synonyms
for
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
industry.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process requires seven steps in total. It starts with accumulating the clay and ends with fully packaged
bricks
Use synonyms
in the delivery trucks. The production begins with a specialized machine digging through the earth to collect clay.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, it is
then
Linking Words
placed on a metal grid through which it goes down to the roller.
The next step is
Linking Words
moulding the substance which is achieved by blending clay,
water
Correct word choice
and water
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, send together and cutting them into
bricks
Use synonyms
via
wire
Correct article usage
a wire
show examples
cutter.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
show examples
the
bricks
Use synonyms
are
then
Linking Words
deposited into
oven
Add an article
the oven
show examples
to dry for 24-48 hours. The temperature of the ovens has
threee
Correct your spelling
three
the
stages through which they dry.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
first part the temperature attains a moderate of 200-980 degrees
celciums
Correct your spelling
celsius
Celcius
calciums
, meanwhile the next is higher by nearly half.
Then
Linking Words
, during
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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48-72 hours after it has been moulded, the products
are cooling
Wrong verb form
cool
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off in
chamber
Correct article usage
the chamber
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
bricks
Use synonyms
go through packaging and
put
Add a missing verb
are put
show examples
into trucks to be delivered. The process commences again.
Submitted by katenok200312 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • manufacture
  • bricks
  • building industry
  • process
  • dig
  • prepare
  • clay
  • mold
  • shape
  • dry
  • fire
  • kiln
  • cool
  • package
  • fired
  • overview
  • importance
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