Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, there have been several debates about whether
money
should be spent on the protection of wild
animals
or the
development
of the human population. Based on my opinion, I believe that we should invest in both problems.
Firstly
, people should recognize the fact that
this
money
could be better spent on social advancement.There is no denying that investment in education can not only reduce the unemployment rate but
also
promote work quality. That leads to the
development
of the economy and a whole range of aspects of our society.
In addition
, spending
money
on social housing and health services
also
plays a vital role.
This
helps individuals decrease the financial burden of living costs and
also
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
the number of homeless.
Moreover
,
this
investment can increase the medicine quality and facilities used for medical treatment.
On the other hand
,
animals
are indispensable to society, health, and biology. They help balance the ecosystem,
as a result
, when they become extinct, the ecosystem will be negatively impacted.
Moreover
, people
also
depend almost entirely on
animals
, they play a vital role in the food chain.
Therefore
, if the ecosystem is impaired, people will lose an important source of nutrition. Bees,
for instance
, help pollinate crops and flowers, which promotes economic
development
and maintains ecological balance.
Furthermore
, wild
animals
also
contribute a lot to medical and education.
For example
, students can do research on
animals
for the lesson. In conclusion, spending
money
on the human population can contribute to the
development
of a country, but the government
also
should invest in the protection of wild
animals
.
Submitted by anhpham.712688 on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively present and summarize your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well, providing a balanced discussion on both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as bees for pollination, which effectively support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem stability
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • climate regulation
  • eco-tourism
  • scientific research
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • financial cost
  • social issues
  • healthcare
  • education
  • fund allocation
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