In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #retirement #age #work

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In contemporary society, it has become increasingly prevalent for nations worldwide to elevate the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

as a means of alleviating economic burdens.

However

Linking Words

, it is my contention that the detriments of worker dissatisfaction and increased

unemployment

Use synonyms

far outweigh the purported advantages. To commence, it is imperative to recognize the profound impact of extended working years on employee morale. Many individuals have devoted the majority of their lives to their professions, sacrificing precious time with their families. Should authorities mandate an extension of the working period, familial bonds would inevitably suffer, leading to widespread discontentment among citizens.

For instance

Linking Words

, in 2023, France witnessed widespread protests and violent riots in response to proposed increases in the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

, highlighting the deep-seated discontent among workers.

Conversely

Linking Words

, proponents argue that raising the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

is a necessary measure to address the strain on public finances. With advancements in healthcare leading to increased lifespans, retirees now draw upon pension funds for longer periods, placing a significant burden on governments.

However

Linking Words

, it must be noted that these retirees have contributed substantially to the nation's economy during their working years, mitigating the purported economic strain.

For instance

Linking Words

, Vietnam has maintained its

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

, recognizing the pivotal role of older generations in building a sustainable economy.

Moreover

Linking Words

, an increase in the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

can exacerbate

unemployment

Use synonyms

rates, particularly among older workers.

Age

Use synonyms

-related health issues often limit the productivity of older employees, rendering them less competitive in the job market.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they may be forced out of the workforce, only to be replaced by younger, more agile counterparts.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon not only contributes to

unemployment

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

perpetuates

age

Use synonyms

discrimination in the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

market. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

proponents argue that raising the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

offers economic benefits, the adverse effects on worker well-being and

unemployment

Use synonyms

are undeniable.

This

Linking Words

essay has elucidated the multifaceted implications of extending

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

, underscoring the need for a balanced approach to address economic challenges

while

Linking Words

safeguarding the welfare of the workforce.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Tue May 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of raising the retirement age. Ensure to maintain this level of completeness in future essays.

task achievement

Ideas are clear and comprehensive, but be cautious to not overgeneralize. Further elaboration on the specific impacts on public finances might add depth and clarity to the argument.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen coherence by ensuring that each point directly ties back to the central thesis of the essay. While the examples are relevant and specific, additional examples from different regions or sectors could enhance the argument.

coherence cohesion

Overall, the logical structure of the essay is strong. Consider working on the transitional phrases to further smooth out the flow between sections and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly framing the essay and summarizing the key points effectively.

task achievement

Main points are well-supported by relevant and specific examples, which adds credibility and depth to the argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

328 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
pension systems
financial pressure
economic growth
workforce
retirement savings
skills and knowledge transfer
job opportunities
health challenges
work-life balance
societal resistance
burnout
productivity
well-being

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many artists are well supported by their governments, but some feel that this is a misuse of taxpayers’ money. Although many arts venues would have to cease operating without such funding, I feel that public healthcare is in more urgent need of the money.
6.5
band
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
After first imprisonment, a quantity of offenders show a tendency to recidivism and this urgent issue has sparked heated debates throughout the ruling class. In these forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss some of the main reasons and solutions to solve this problem promptly.
7.5
band
Some people argue that because the internet makes it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. Instead, they should focus on developing children’s skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There is a dramatic change in education brought about by the growing advancement of technology today. It has become a more contentious issue on how children should learn. Some adults believe that school should promote their skills and potential and relationships with others as they tend to rely on electric gadgets to gain much information by themselves. I generally disagree with this, for academic knowledge maintains its importance to make a better choice in the future.
6
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Economic progress is a priority for many governments. Meanwhile, some of the local citizens consider other kinds of progress as important as economic progress. I think that all types of progress are equal because citizen’s satisfaction doesn’t depend only on the finances of the country.
6.5
band
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
It is thought by some that the states should spend money on the art while others say it is better to use it to improve other parts in the countries. I strongly disagree with this viewpoint, the reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before a conclusion is reached.

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?