Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many people assume that if workers are able to be better at their

work

Use synonyms

, they should be given at least a 4-week holiday each

year

Use synonyms

by employers. In my opinion, I agree with

this

Linking Words

idea

hence

Linking Words

I think

that is

Linking Words

the suitable way for staff to improve their

performance

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, some individuals believe that taking a

month

Change noun form

month's

show examples

leave of absence can disrupt

work

Use synonyms

, especially when the company is facing challenges and critical issues that require the contribution of multiple

employees

Use synonyms

. An

employee

Use synonyms

's absence during

such

Linking Words

times can have serious consequences, including the company's inability to resolve problems

while

Linking Words

still being obligated to pay the

employee

Use synonyms

's salary as per regulations.

This

Linking Words

places a significant burden on management and hinders the company's growth and success in the future.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, having a four-week holiday entitlement each

year

Use synonyms

will bring some positive impacts for both employers and

employees

Use synonyms

. First of all, staff’s

performance

Use synonyms

may be more effective when have a month to recharge every

year

Use synonyms

. If workers are sick are have problems with their

health

Use synonyms

, they can use that time to relax or restore their energy.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, when they feel relaxed and come back to the workplace, they will be more creative and effective.

Secondly

Linking Words

, unless having twenty-eight days of vacation time per

year

Use synonyms

employees

Use synonyms

are not able to focus on their

work

Use synonyms

to gain the most effective

work

Use synonyms

productivity,

due to

Linking Words

their difficulties related to their own families or mental

health

Use synonyms

. A significant personal loss,

such

Linking Words

as the death of a parent, can have a profound impact on an

employee

Use synonyms

's mental

health

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

can manifest in various ways, including reduced concentration, increased irritability, and decreased motivation. These factors

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only affect negatively

work

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

contribute to a decline in

overall

Linking Words

productivity. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

many people think giving

employees

Use synonyms

at least a 4-week holiday a

year

Use synonyms

can not make

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

better at their jobs.

However

Linking Words

, I think that employers should provide their staff with a minimum of four weeks' annual leave to enhance

employee

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

Linking Words

due

Change preposition

apply

show examples

helping

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

about staff’s physical and mental

health

Use synonyms

nguyenhoanganhquan918Sat Nov 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to address both sides of the argument with more balance. While you have presented both points, the essay could benefit from expanding and providing more depth to the counterarguments, giving it a more well-rounded view.

coherence cohesion

You could enhance coherence by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more seamlessly and guide the reader.

task achievement

You presented a clear and relevant position on the topic, aligning with the task requirements well.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a proper introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main arguments effectively.

supported main points

You supported your points with specific examples, which strengthen your argument.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Rest and recuperate
Increased productivity
Mental health
Enhanced creativity
Problem-solving
Reduced burnout
Job satisfaction
Work-life balance
Long-term benefits
Motivated workforce
Mental space
Extended break
Employee performance
Healthier workforce
Ample time

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe what the group does explain why the group is good for the community suggest alternative days and times for practice You should write at least 150 words.
I am writing this letter on behalf of group of musicians, with regards to the recent notice that we are no longer allowed to use the community hall.
7.5
band
It is important for children to learn the differences between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
There is ongoing debate about whether children should be punished to help them distinguish between right and wrong behaviour. While punishment may appear to be an easy method of teaching, I strongly believe that engaging in open conversations is a far more effective way to shape their character.
7
band
many people say that the only way to ensure a good job is to complete a course in university education. to what extend do you agree or disagree
It is widely believed that having completed university course is the sole way for employees to get lucrative jobs . The writer of this essay agrees with this notion because it can provide the specialized skills and persistence of candidates.
5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and gives you opinion.
The most politicians commonly believe that development of a country in various aspects would be feasible if the economic progression occurred. Therefore, most them have set financial developments in their priority. Nonetheless, some people suppose that improvements in other parts could be also crucial for a society. In this assay, both views and considerations will be discussed and concluding remarks will be presented at the end.
4
band
During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible Job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter • remind him when and where you met • tell him what kind of Job youaare inter,sted in • say why you think you would be suitable for the Job
I am writing this letter to express my intesrest to join your Shiv Sagar Resataurant at pune as a chief cook.

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

many people say that the only way to ensure a good job is to complete a course in university education. to what extend do you agree or disagree

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and gives you opinion.