Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people assume that if workers are able to be better at their
work
, they should be given at least a 4-week holiday each year
by employers. In my opinion, I agree with this
idea hence
I think that is
the suitable way for staff to improve their performance
.
On the one hand, some individuals believe that taking a month
leave of absence can disrupt Change noun form
month's
work
, especially when the company is facing challenges and critical issues that require the contribution of multiple employees
. An employee
's absence during such
times can have serious consequences, including the company's inability to resolve problems while
still being obligated to pay the employee
's salary as per regulations. This
places a significant burden on management and hinders the company's growth and success in the future.
On the other hand
, having a four-week holiday entitlement each year
will bring some positive impacts for both employers and employees
. First of all, staff’s performance
may be more effective when have a month to recharge every year
. If workers are sick are have problems with their health
, they can use that time to relax or restore their energy. As a consequence
, when they feel relaxed and come back to the workplace, they will be more creative and effective. Secondly
, unless having twenty-eight days of vacation time per year
, employees
are not able to focus on their work
to gain the most effective work
productivity, due to
their difficulties related to their own families or mental health
. A significant personal loss, such
as the death of a parent, can have a profound impact on an employee
's mental health
. This
can manifest in various ways, including reduced concentration, increased irritability, and decreased motivation. These factors are
not only affect negatively Unnecessary verb
apply
work
performance
but also
contribute to a decline in overall
productivity.
In conclusion, although
many people think giving employees
at least a 4-week holiday a year
can not make they
better at their jobs. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, I think that employers should provide their staff with a minimum of four weeks' annual leave to enhance employee
performance
due
to Change preposition
apply
helping
about staff’s physical and mental Wrong verb form
help
health
.Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on
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task achievement
Try to address both sides of the argument with more balance. While you have presented both points, the essay could benefit from expanding and providing more depth to the counterarguments, giving it a more well-rounded view.
coherence cohesion
You could enhance coherence by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more seamlessly and guide the reader.
task achievement
You presented a clear and relevant position on the topic, aligning with the task requirements well.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a proper introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main arguments effectively.
supported main points
You supported your points with specific examples, which strengthen your argument.