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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school, and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rathe than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.. AI

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Many
individuals
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 believe that cooperation among employees is more important than
competition
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,
while
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 others argue that
competition
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 plays a more significant role and has a profound impact in various areas,
such
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 as the workplace, education, and daily life. In my opinion,
competition
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 is the driving force that motivates people to improve their lives in different aspects. In today's world, promotions and the desire to feel superior are often the driving factors for many people. Working independently allows managers and teachers to identify hardworking and talented
individuals
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 more easily, which can lead to increased opportunities for development and growth.
For instance
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, a diligent employee may be able to shine in solo projects,
whereas
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, in group projects, there is a possibility that another team member could take credit for even a minor contribution.
Additionally
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,
competition
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 encourages
individuals
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 to complete their tasks efficiently without relying on others, fostering a sense of accountability.
On the other hand
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, some people prefer a cooperative approach, as it emphasizes essential personal skills
such
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 as teamwork, communication, and adaptability. Collaboration allows
individuals
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 to interact with diverse personalities and use each person's unique traits to achieve a common goal.
For example
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, an employee with strong leadership abilities can guide the team, ensuring that both the project and the team members are managed effectively, which will have a positive impact on the company's environment and
overall
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 objectives. In conclusion,
while
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 teamwork plays a significant role in developing personal skills and aligning company goals,
competition
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 is a catalyst for creating a dynamic and thriving community of
individuals
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 who are eager to learn, grow, and make meaningful contributions.
Competition
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 fosters a spirit of excellence, driving
individuals
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 to push their boundaries and ultimately enhance the quality of their work.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying sentence structures and using more complex sentences to showcase a higher level of English proficiency.
Task Achievement
Try to include a more in-depth discussion of the opposing viewpoint and counterarguments to strengthen your overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion around competition and cooperation.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points about the benefits of both competition and cooperation.
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