Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
technology era, we are facing the fact that some
children
consume most of their time with their devices.
This
issue is inevitable because now all human
activities
are closely related to
smartphones
. Though having a tech-savvy generation is a positive development, I believe that the drawbacks for
children
with gadgets outweigh the benefits. First and foremost,
this
phenomenon arises because there has been a shift in social culture and lifestyle in the past few years. Humans now socialize with each other through online platforms, including students.
For instance
, aside from the school, they
also
maintain their friendship through social messaging.
Moreover
, during the COVID pandemic which obliged students to study from home, they are urged to have gadgets in order to follow learning properly. Even though there is a considerable benefit of having a generation
that is
familiar with technology,
children
have a short golden era. That's the parents' task to foster their
children
's time with purposeful
activities
and experiences.
For example
, arranging outdoor
activities
which stimulate their physical abilities, to switch their eyes off their
smartphones
.
Additionally
, gadgets could distract their
activities
, mainly studying. Addiction to smartphone features,
such
as social media, will lead to procrastination and easily blur their focus on school.
To conclude
, the digital era with the massive use of
smartphones
cannot be hindered. How
children
socialize nowadays has shifted a bit to online platforms.
However
, parents need to engage them in screen-less
activities
more to maximize their self-development and keep them away from unnecessary distractions that might be produced by excessive use of
smartphones
.
Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task and covers the main points related to the topic.
task achievement
Your use of language is clear and comprehensible, aiding in the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: