Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

It is the primary right
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
everyone to have access to the healthcare system.
Nonetheless
, these services have recently gotten more expensive
due to
private sector activities.
This
essay will explain that
although
private clinics make better situations for
health
professionals,
this
system is against social justice. On the one hand, proponents of private
health
services argue that
this
medical section and working in that are considered difficult jobs, and numerous people who are working in hospitals suffer from many mental and physical problems after a
while
.
Therefore
, private companies that provide higher quality in the workplace and
also
offer better incomes and benefits to their employees motivate them more to remain in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. Statistics show that a considerable number of Iranian nurses,
for example
, have immigrated because they were unsatisfied with their income in the
last
decade.
On the other hand
,
health
is a basic right for everyone. It is cruel to allocate healthcare
according to
people's economic status;
according to
social justice, both wealthy and low-income parts of society must have equal access to
health
services. If American citizens,
for instance
, do not have medical insurance, they would have trouble using even basic medical needs
such
as repairing a broken leg, and it leads to satisfaction in America.
Moreover
, private medical
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
attract many
health
medical professionals, and the public sector faces the problem of workforce deficiency. In conclusion, though healthcare workers deserve high-quality job opportunities, it is not logical that only private clinics offer these advantages to them.
Moreover
, it is not moral to classify people
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
one of the most fundamental necessities of life.
Submitted by elahepoorhosein1990 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Expand on the main argument against private healthcare to provide a more balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for better flow.
task response
Clarify the impact of private healthcare on social justice in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main argument.
task response
Relevant examples are used to support arguments, such as the mention of Iranian nurses and American healthcare issues.
coherence and cohesion
The main points are well-supported by appropriate evidence and rationale.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge technology
  • highly skilled professionals
  • patient experience
  • outcomes
  • personalized care
  • healthcare practitioners
  • competition
  • standards
  • government burden
  • public funds
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disparities
  • profitability
  • over-treatment
  • neglect
  • non-profitable cases
  • ethical concerns
  • financial status
What to do next:
Look at other essays: