Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sport #facilities #communities

It is considered whether the large companies should promote local residents by giving them sports and social infrastructure or not.

This

writer holds a belief that

this

is one of the most effective ways to enhance individuals' strength and

also

improve the quality of labour resources nowadays.

To begin

with, providing sports facilities fosters a sense of support in strengthening people's well-being, which allows them to work continuously for a long-term period, increasing the health standard of labour resources. To explain

this

point, by offering equal physical opportunities, exercise is seen as a virtual activity in their daily routines.

For example

, after work, individuals would spend more than one hour engaging in physical activity that supports releasing endorphins

instead

of playing games or surfing the Internet. These changes would make them inducing pleasure and motivation for their life, and

also

provide them with a sense of belonging.

Consequently

, involving in exercising promotes a healthier, more balanced lifestyle, which, in turn, can lead to increased productivity and job satisfaction.

Besides

, being given available infrastructures reduces the exorbitant cost of those, saving a huge range of money for other activities. To clarify

this

idea, it should be noticed that there are lots of people who must pay a fortune to take part in the gym or yoga to improve their physical strength.

However

, with

this

strategy, they have an opportunity to enjoy those services without spending cash on them.

In addition

, the remaining money could be used for other purposes

such

as shopping, renovating accommodation or education, developing their quality of life, and ensuring effective outcomes in working. In conclusion, it should be acknowledged that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

offering sport for local communities is entirely cost-effective, advancing the mental fitness of employees to support them in working.

Additionally

, it

also

enhances the standard of health.

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed May 29 2024

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task achievement

While your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides clear and comprehensive ideas, consider adding more specific examples to support your points. For example, you could mention specific companies that have successfully implemented such initiatives and the positive outcomes they experienced. This would provide concrete evidence to back up your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-structured and coherent, but there are a few awkward phrasings and minor grammatical errors that can disrupt the flow. Consider revisiting sentences like 'exercise is seen as a virtual activity in their daily routines' for clarity. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that transitions between ideas are smooth.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is clear and provides a strong thesis statement, effectively setting up the essay. This helps the reader understand the main argument from the outset.

logical structure

You have a logical and cohesive structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph deals with a specific point and contributes to the overall argument, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

supported main points

The essay includes relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This strengthens your arguments and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

community well-being
corporate social responsibility (CSR)
healthcare costs
public image
customer loyalty
economic growth
community relations
job satisfaction
balanced lifestyle
stimulate local economy

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Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some think that teenagers should follow older people's rules. Others think that it is natural for them to challenge what older people say. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

the practice of illegally hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries, particularly developing countries. What are the causes of such hunting? What are the effects on the animals, and on the wider human society in these countries and beyond?