In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in professionals moving towards metropolitan cities to make a better future. Many folks believe that people should live in their local areas,

while

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some say that everybody has their own right to achieve, what they want to get. Yes, it is a positive thought because they get promotion opportunities and better careers as compared to villages.

This

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essay will discuss how it benefits the emerging population.

Firstly

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, the foremost reason is that after completion of their studies, students want to move for a better job, so they can get

according to

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their qualifications. Another factor is the lack of resources; small towns are still underdeveloped

due to

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a lack of local businesses

such

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as factories, shopping malls and other business places, where adults can get desired jobs.

For example

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, in India, rural spaces are still not fully developed and suffer from lots of problems,

such

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as efficient transport, stable roads, electricity shortages and local industries.

As a result

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, adults are immigrating towards cities, where they get suitable employment.

Secondly

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, the primary reason is that some students want to do higher studies and local institutions do not have higher education facilities. So locals move to capitals so they can complete their dream courses.

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, it is not worth it for the Government to open universities in less populated fields.

In addition

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, some employees do jobs in the metro metropolis and it becomes difficult to commute daily in the town, so they move with families to urban areas to save time and money.

For example

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, in India, a doctor transferred to a large city has to be in the hospital for emergency patients for 24 hours.

As a consequence

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, it is apparent why many people are migrating to downtown. In conclusion, following the analysis of the above topic, the migration is going to continue until locals get the necessary facilities near their towns.

However

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, for higher education, work commitments and better jobs, adults will keep moving towards the big centre.

rbtech65Wed May 29 2024

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task achievement

Your essay lacks a clear stance in the introduction. Make it clearer if you are completely for or against the development. Instead of just mentioning promotions and better careers, link these points explicitly as reasons why this is a positive development.

coherence cohesion

Even though you have proper paragraphs, ensure each idea is logically connected to the next. For instance, better job opportunities should connect to lack of resources seamlessly without making it look abrupt.

coherence cohesion

Try using synonyms or different phrases to avoid repetition. For example, you used the term 'rural spaces' and 'local areas' frequently.

task achievement

Include more data or examples from other countries to make your response more comprehensive.

task achievement

You have relevant specific examples, particularly about India which add value to your argument.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph has a clear main point, making it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?