In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in professionals moving towards metropolitan cities to make a better future. Many folks believe that people should live in their local areas,
while
some say that everybody has their own right to achieve, what they want to get. Yes, it is a positive thought because they get promotion opportunities and better careers as compared to villages. This
essay will discuss how it benefits the emerging population.
Firstly
, the foremost reason is that after completion of their studies, students want to move for a better job, so they can get according to
their qualifications. Another factor is the lack of resources; small towns are still underdeveloped due to
a lack of local businesses such
as factories, shopping malls and other business places, where adults can get desired jobs. For example
, in India, rural spaces are still not fully developed and suffer from lots of problems, such
as efficient transport, stable roads, electricity shortages and local industries. As a result
, adults are immigrating towards cities, where they get suitable employment.
Secondly
, the primary reason is that some students want to do higher studies and local institutions do not have higher education facilities. So locals move to capitals so they can complete their dream courses. However
, it is not worth it for the Government to open universities in less populated fields. In addition
, some employees do jobs in the metro metropolis and it becomes difficult to commute daily in the town, so they move with families to urban areas to save time and money. For example
, in India, a doctor transferred to a large city has to be in the hospital for emergency patients for 24 hours. As a consequence
, it is apparent why many people are migrating to downtown.
In conclusion, following the analysis of the above topic, the migration is going to continue until locals get the necessary facilities near their towns. However
, for higher education, work commitments and better jobs, adults will keep moving towards the big centre.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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task achievement
Your essay lacks a clear stance in the introduction. Make it clearer if you are completely for or against the development. Instead of just mentioning promotions and better careers, link these points explicitly as reasons why this is a positive development.
coherence cohesion
Even though you have proper paragraphs, ensure each idea is logically connected to the next. For instance, better job opportunities should connect to lack of resources seamlessly without making it look abrupt.
coherence cohesion
Try using synonyms or different phrases to avoid repetition. For example, you used the term 'rural spaces' and 'local areas' frequently.
task achievement
Include more data or examples from other countries to make your response more comprehensive.
task achievement
You have relevant specific examples, particularly about India which add value to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main point, making it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?