It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punsihment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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One of the relevant issues nowadays is to

learn

Verb problem

teach

show examples

children the difference between right and wrong

since

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young

Add an article

a young

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age. Most people get used to

bring

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bringing

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up their

child

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via

punishment

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. Personally, I tend to think that

punishment

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is not the only way to teach your

child

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Remove the article

apply

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good behaviour.

Firstly

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, it is well known that

punishment

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lead

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leads

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to many issues.

For instance

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, there may be problems with both physical and mental health.

Also

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arise different injuries that affect

Correct your spelling

one

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person.

Appear various

Verb problem

Various

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fears of something, be it the fear of being beaten or making a mistake. A good case in point is if in childhood a

child

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was punished by being locked in the dark,

then

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over time he develops a fear of the dark, as

this

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is associated with bad memories.

Furthermore

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, any

punishment

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can affect the

child

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’s psyche over time. He may become closed, distant, or,

on the contrary

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, show aggression towards people. I mean

this

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, usually a person treats others the way others treat him. and the relationship between parent and

child

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is a great example

for

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show examples

this

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Therefore

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, it is important not to beat, not to intimidate, not to injure the

child

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, as

this

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all leads to injury and will have a bad effect on the

child

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’s condition.

Instead

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, I advise you to calmly talk, explain,

tell

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and tell

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the reasons why he should not do

this

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this

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method will help prevent various problems,

injuries

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and injuries

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and improve the relationship between parent and

child

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. If we talk about the types of

punishment

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that parents and teachers are allowed to use, I think that you should not use any

punishment

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, as I said earlier there are alternative ways.

Finally

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, we can come to the conclusion that

punishment

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is not the only way out. To raise a good generation you need to give an example of good behavior and treatment.

dnm.bestSun Mar 24 2024

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Sentence Variety

Consider varying your sentence structures more frequently to enhance readability and add sophistication to your writing. This can include the use of compound and complex sentences.

Grammar and Accuracy

Ensure to proofread your writing to catch and correct any typo or minor grammar mistakes such as 'learn children' which should be 'teach children'.

Argument Development

Although you have presented a clear position throughout the essay, incorporating counterarguments or a wider range of views before presenting your own stance can add depth to your argument. This demonstrates critical thinking and a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Introduction

Your essay clearly introduces the topic and provides a well-defined stance in the introduction. This sets a clear direction for the rest of the essay.

Logical Structure

You have effectively used a logical structure that guides the reader through your argument with clear progression from one idea to the next.

Supported Main Points

Your main points are well-supported by examples and explanations. This strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.

Conclusion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance and reinforces the points made throughout the essay. This is an effective strategy to leave a lasting impression on the reader.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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