IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that the development of technology and improved software allow us to translate between languages automatically. Therefore, it is not necessary to learn foreign language anymore. Do u agree or disagree?

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Due to
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 the development of automatically translated software
along with
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 devices, it is believed to be unnecessary for individuals to have knowledge about foreign
languages
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. The writer strongly disagrees that acquiring foreign
languages
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 is still crucial because of the globalisation bias
as well as
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 the merit of enhancing people’s personal creativity. The public being lost in the era of globalisation is one of the primary keys for not dismissing external
dialect
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dialects
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.
In other words
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, there has been a trend of exchanging culture all around the world, which demands individuals to build trust and understanding for not only business but
also
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 tourist relationships. Scenarios are if people do not learn the language of their partners, they can not know deeply about other cultures, leading to a higher risk of misunderstanding.
Hence
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, by absorbing new dialects, societies can develop a stronger connection with other companions. The advantage of boosting individuals’ creativity
together with
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 expression is another reason for a profound learning of other countries'
languages
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 in lieu of using translated tools. To be specific, whether
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
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 have a crack at acquiring a new language with a great deal of bilingual study methods, there will be room for switching
languages
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 flexibly, sparking creative connections and new ways for expressing ideas.
Consequently
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,
this
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 ability offers learners either problem-solving
skill
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skills
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 or the capacity to see the situation from multiple angles. In conclusion, it is learning by heart that
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 should access for the purpose of not using auto-translated tools as they are not suitable in
this
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 age and day combined with the benefit of people’s creativity development.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and directly addresses the topic. However, there are some areas where you can make improvements to achieve a higher score. Make sure your ideas are fully developed with relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a good logical structure, with both an introduction and conclusion, try to make your ideas flow more naturally from one to another. Using linking words and phrases can help in achieving better coherence and ensure that your paragraphs are more connected.
task achievement
Ensure to explain your points more thoroughly. For example, when you mention that not learning partners' languages leads to a higher risk of misunderstanding, provide a specific scenario to fully illustrate your point.
coherence cohesion
Finally, work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and dynamic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is a solid foundation to build upon.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic directly and provided reasons to support your viewpoint, which indicates a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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