We have three important part of education; reading, writing, and maths.Some people think every child will benefit from a fourth skill added to the list. Do you agree or disagree?

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nowadays , there are three essential
part
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parts
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of education ,
such
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as reading , writing and maths. some people claim that it is beneficial if
children
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learn more
skills
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and
fourth
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the fourth
show examples
skill
added
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is added
show examples
to
this
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list
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.
to begin
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with , these three
part
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parts
show examples
of education are
expecionally
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especially
exceptionally
good
skills
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for
children
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. because all of these abilities are useful for their academic communication
as well as
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their personal lives .
additionally
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,every
courses
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course
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that teach
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taught
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to
studends
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students
are
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is
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according to
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their needs to
having
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have
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a high-flying job.
it is clear that
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,
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apply
show examples
these courses are very important for their future.
Although
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these are important
part
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parts
show examples
of education ,
government
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the government
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and authorities of teaching can add one course to
this
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list
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.
however
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, if
studends
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students
have more
skills
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, they will improve more and better.
moreover
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, the students have enough time
for
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to
show examples
manage their time to study.
Hence
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, there is
not
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no
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concern about that.
moreover
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, students should try to explore
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their surrounding
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surrounding
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surroundings
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with
learning
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learn
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new
skills
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. in my opinion , one skill should
add
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be added
show examples
to
this
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list
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.
for instance
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,
art
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. for several reasons. first , almost most
children
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like to be an artist.
secondly
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, there is not any
art
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ability at schools . third , in terms of mental ,
children
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need to
other
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do other
show examples
activities except
above
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the above
show examples
skills
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.
Thus
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, I agree to add
art
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to
this
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list
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.
to conclude
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, academies have three main
course
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courses
show examples
that are essential for everyone.
on the other hand
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, if schools
creates
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create
show examples
another course ,
such
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as
art
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, it has
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
positive effect on
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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task achievement
Work on improving the grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. For instance, 'because all of these abilities are useful for their academic communication as well as their personal lives' would be clearer as 'these abilities are useful for both academic communication and personal lives.'
task achievement
Include more concrete examples to support your points. For example, when stating that students need art for mental health, you could mention studies or expert opinions.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay. For instance, use transition phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Moreover' appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph addresses a single idea and is well-developed. For example, your first body paragraph should fully explore the importance of the existing subjects before introducing the idea of an additional subject.
task achievement
You have identified the main elements of the topic and have addressed the prompt effectively by stating your opinion and elaborating on it.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The suggestion to add art as a fourth skill is well-argued and logical.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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