Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals

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today

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digital's age, some critics argue that more and more

people

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are dependent on each other,

while

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others

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think that

people

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have become more independent.

This

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author agrees with the latter viewpoint that

people

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prefer to be dependent rather than independent. It must be recognized that teenagers rely on each other commonly

today

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This

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is because, they are overprotected by their family, especially their

parents

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As a result

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, they are in their comfort zone and they have no challenges to be mature.

This

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means they cannot have formative years and enter adult

life

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due to

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the timidity and shyness that come from the protection of their

parents

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. They do not dare to embark on interrogation leading to an independent

life

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For instance

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today

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, which university to go to is decided by the

parents

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and the

children

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will be at their

parents

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' discretion

Therefore

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, it is easy to understand why

people

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are more dependent on

others

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However

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, some supporters say that

people

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are not contingent on

others

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This

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belief is based on individuals's circumstances in their lives.

This

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means some households have insufficient conditions for caring for

children

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leading to them having to be self-combing and facing hard work to earn a living and succeed in their lives.

Furthermore

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, some teenagers would like to be more mature that they do what they like and make their own decisions.

This

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point may be true, but in a toxic society,

people

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tend to rely on each other and live a safe

life

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. From

this

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writer's experience,

people

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prefer to be dependent.

This

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is because there are many evil elements in

today

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's society so the

children

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will depend on their

parents

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under the overprotection from their

parents

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Nevertheless

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due to

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the development of the countries, many households are more conditional and wealthier and

parents

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tend to do everything for their

children

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. In conclusion,

this

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essay has shown that the main factors which impact

upon

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apply

show examples

people

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are more and more dependent on

others

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Therefore

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, the dependent

life

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is more favourable than the independent one.

Thu May 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure every paragraph directly supports your thesis to maintain focus and coherence.

task achievement

Provide more detailed and specific examples to enhance the support for your main points.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition and redundancy to make room for more content or examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The theme of dependency vs independence is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

task achievement

You have addressed both viewpoints and provided your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

interconnected
globalization
remote work
independence
dependency
specialization
professional services
social validation
individualism
self-reliance
collective action
sustainability
global community
navigating
complexity
environmental movement

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Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years, technology has significantly transformed the way people communicate. Some believe that these changes have brought more advantages than disadvantages, while others argue the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Nowadays people pay more attention to foods price instead of their process of making. Are you agree or disagree with this argument?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each orther. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?