Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals

today

digital's age, some critics argue that more and more

people

are dependent on each other,

while

others

think that

people

have become more independent.

This

author agrees with the latter viewpoint that

people

prefer to be dependent rather than independent. It must be recognized that teenagers rely on each other commonly

today

This

is because, they are overprotected by their family, especially their

parents

As a result

, they are in their comfort zone and they have no challenges to be mature.

This

means they cannot have formative years and enter adult

life

due to

the timidity and shyness that come from the protection of their

parents

. They do not dare to embark on interrogation leading to an independent

life

For instance

today

, which university to go to is decided by the

parents

and the

children

will be at their

parents

' discretion

Therefore

, it is easy to understand why

people

are more dependent on

others

However

, some supporters say that

people

are not contingent on

others

This

belief is based on individuals's circumstances in their lives.

This

means some households have insufficient conditions for caring for

children

leading to them having to be self-combing and facing hard work to earn a living and succeed in their lives.

Furthermore

, some teenagers would like to be more mature that they do what they like and make their own decisions.

This

point may be true, but in a toxic society,

people

tend to rely on each other and live a safe

life

. From

this

writer's experience,

people

prefer to be dependent.

This

is because there are many evil elements in

today

's society so the

children

will depend on their

parents

under the overprotection from their

parents

Nevertheless

due to

the development of the countries, many households are more conditional and wealthier and

parents

tend to do everything for their

children

. In conclusion,

this

essay has shown that the main factors which impact

upon

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

are more and more dependent on

others

Therefore

, the dependent

life

is more favourable than the independent one.

Thu May 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure every paragraph directly supports your thesis to maintain focus and coherence.

task achievement

Provide more detailed and specific examples to enhance the support for your main points.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition and redundancy to make room for more content or examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The theme of dependency vs independence is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

task achievement

You have addressed both viewpoints and provided your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interconnected
globalization
remote work
independence
dependency
specialization
professional services
social validation
individualism
self-reliance
collective action
sustainability
global community
navigating
complexity
environmental movement

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Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

what is your opinion toward legal Cannabis ues for recreational purposes?

Serious violent crimes among people who are under 18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like like adults,while others would say they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that eventually all the jobs will be done by artificial intelligence. What is your opinion?

Some people think that reading is always a good habit, others feel it depends on which books a person is reading. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.