Some people think that children should only read academic book. Other believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Society suggests that young students should explore only subject-oriented
literature
, whilst others think that students should
also
be allowed to read for relaxation. Subject-themed
literature
is a source of knowledge to affects youngsters’ intelligence.
However
, relaxing
literature
that generally contains fiction could
also
make youngsters more expressive about their feelings. Academic
literature
contains a wealth of information that significantly enhances young people's intellectual level.
In addition
, those are
also
sources of scientific insight that are important for people, especially the younger generations.
Consequently
, it will increase those generations' scientific insights. Those insights are the biggest contributor to improving
children
's intelligence. To support that opinion, an experiment on
children
who spend their reading time in science
literature
20% more than other types of
literature
done recently. They found out that the
children
who read those are smarter than others who do the opposite. It's evidence that the youth who spend their time in science-based
literature
can improve their mental ability. Other than intelligence insight,
literature
is
also
the origin of the word insight. Those can help
children
to be more expressive. Those abilities are usually acquired from reading fiction
literature
. Relaxational
literature
usually contains fiction. That
literature
usually utilizes heavy vocabulary. Where
children
's languages are limited, those can be a medium for
children
to learn them.
This
is supported by a social experiment that was recently conducted by social experts.
This
was done by making the youngsters read science-fiction
literature
two times a day for a month. Later
at the end
of the month, they asked them about their feelings. The result collected from that the
children
who read those expressed their feelings better than regular
children
. Because of that, it proves how relaxation-based
literature
could expand
children
's vocabulary to express their minds. In Short, I think
literature
, whether serious or relaxing, both are equally important. The serious
literature
serves as a source of scientific learning
whereas
the others serve as verbal proficiency to express themself better.
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on

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task achievement
Your essay generally covers both sides of the argument and provides examples, but the explanation could be more detailed and well-developed. Make sure to fully expand on your points to maximize your score.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs could be improved. The use of transition words and phrases can help with the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice. Some awkward phrases and minor errors slightly reduce the clarity of your writing. Simple grammatical corrections can improve the essay's readability.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully included a clear introduction and a concise conclusion that summarize your main points.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help support your arguments. Using experiments and studies adds credibility to your claims.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic books
  • reading for pleasure
  • structured reading
  • discipline
  • focus
  • imagination
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • empathy
  • well-rounded education
  • language skills
  • lifelong learning
  • balanced approach
  • child’s development
  • stimulate
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