In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
The extremely high cost of
property
in some parts of the world still cannot prevent most people
from buying accommodation instead
of renting one. In my opinion, the main reasons that drive this
decision are financial security and the feeling of control that owning a home provides.
First,
for elderly people
renting can be a heavy burden. To prepare themselves for retirement some individuals will choose to take out a mortgage from the bank and pay for their own flat as long as they are young, to become more prepared for the period when they will not be able to work. In my country, it is very popular to pay a significant amount from the monthly earnings in order to become an owner of the property
and be able to cut those payments in future, thus
ensuring a more financially stable retirement.
Second,
the more people
control the environment they live in the better they feel. However
, while
renting, it is up to the landlord to decide how
the house looks like and who is allowed to live there. In Russia, Correct word choice
what
for example
, the owner of the property
not only decides when to discontinue the contract, but also
whether to allow pets or even children. By owning the apartment individuals will enjoy making all the above decisions by themselves, consequently
improving their ability to control the way they live.
In my country, the government encourages people
to buy their own housing by increasing the tax on the additional property
and by providing subsidies for the first apartment acquisition. I see it as a positive trend, as it can benefit both individuals and society.
To conclude
, the importance of owning a place to live can hardly be overestimated, as it influences the level of living both financially and emotionally. Despite the high cost, it is a good investment and should be strongly supported by local authorities worldwide.Submitted by vikiregev on
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task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task, but you can enhance your essay by further elaborating on your points or providing more specific real-life examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more seamlessly. Although your essay is logically structured, the transitions between paragraphs can be improved to make your essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are well supported, incorporating a broader range of perspectives or addressing potential counterarguments could strengthen your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both parts of the task, providing reasons why owning a home is important and giving your opinion on whether this is positive or negative.
task achievement
The examples you provided, particularly relating to your own country, add relevance and depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.