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Writing Samples
Band 7

The use of autonomous vehicles is becoming increasingly common. What are the advantages and disadvantages of driverless cars?

#vehicles #driverless #cars
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Nowadays, autonomous
vehicles
 are becoming more popular. In
this
 essay, the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 type of vehicle will be discussed. First of all,
driverless
vehicles
 are much safer than others.
Driverless
vehicles
 use many distance sensors and cameras to detect barriers,
people
, and other
vehicles
. AI has been integrated into modern autonomous
vehicles
.
As a result
, it can understand complex situations and enhance the quality of driving. In some cases, drivers can do the wrong things, and because of
this
, accidents can happen.
For example
, lorry drivers sometimes have to drive their lorry at night, and they can be sleepy.
Therefore
,
due to
 a lack of sleep, they can be distracted, and an accident can occur.
In addition
, there are some disabled
people
 who cannot go anywhere without someone's help. Autonomous
vehicles
 can help them to visit wherever they want.
However
, autonomous
vehicles
 have some drawbacks.
Driverless
vehicles
 have so many sensors and a powerful processor to understand the situation and choose the best way.
Therefore
,
due to
 expensive hardware, the price of autonomous
vehicles
 is so high, and many
people
 cannot afford it. Another disadvantage is unemployment. Nowadays, there are some carrying and taxi companies, and there are so many
people
 working there as drivers. The application of
driverless
vehicles
 can increase the unemployment rate. In the modern world, we know that the majority of criminals commit crimes because of a lack of income.
Thus
, it can increase the crime rate. In conclusion, for these reasons,
although
 autonomous
vehicles
 are becoming common because of their benefits
such
 as safety and mobility, they
also
 have disadvantages including their cost and the creation of unemployment.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of autonomous vehicles. However, you could strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples and detailed analysis.
coherence cohesion
The ideas in your essay are clear and comprehensive. To improve further, ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, and consider using more transitional words and phrases to enhance the coherence.
task achievement
You've used relevant examples to support your points, like the example of lorry drivers and disabled people. To improve, try to provide more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, such as safety, mobility, cost, and unemployment.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, making it easy to follow your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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