IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows attendances of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006.

The bar chart shows attendances of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart presents data, measured in percentages, on the
attendance
Use synonyms
 of Australian people at three types of
music
Use synonyms
events
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, people across all
age
Use synonyms
 ranges generally preferred not to attend classical
music
Use synonyms
events
Use synonyms
, with the exception of those aged 55 and above.
Conversely
Linking Words
, popular
music
Use synonyms
events
Use synonyms
 were most attractive to the 15-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 they were least popular among those over 55.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, individuals aged 15-44 exhibited a similar pattern across all
music
Use synonyms
 event types. Specifically,
attendance
Use synonyms
 at popular
music
Use synonyms
events
Use synonyms
 was highest, with 38% for those aged 15-24, 27% for the 25-34
group
Use synonyms
, and about a third for the 35-44
group
Use synonyms
. These figures were followed by
attendance
Use synonyms
 at opera
events
Use synonyms
, which accounted for 13%, 14%, and 25% respectively. For classical
music
Use synonyms
, the
attendance
Use synonyms
 was slightly lower, with more than a tenth in the 15-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 and only 8% among those aged 25-34. In the older
age
Use synonyms
 groups, opera was the most
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 type for those aged 45 and above, attracting 15% of Australian attendees. Meanwhile, classical
music
Use synonyms
events
Use synonyms
 were least popular among those aged 45-54, with only 10%
attendance
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, popular
music
Use synonyms
events
Use synonyms
 saw minimal interest from those aged 55 and above, with only 5%
attendance
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words attendance, music, events, age, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: