IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to encourage them to exercise more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Regular
exercise
Use synonyms
 is essential for maintaining good
health
Use synonyms
, especially for older
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, despite the recommendations from doctors, many elderly
individuals
Use synonyms
 do not engage in enough physical
activity
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and propose effective strategies to encourage older
people
Use synonyms
 to
exercise
Use synonyms
 more regularly. There are several reasons why older
people
Use synonyms
 may not get enough
exercise
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, physical limitations and
health
Use synonyms
 conditions may hinder their ability to engage in certain forms of
exercise
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
individuals
Use synonyms
 with joint problems or chronic pain may find it challenging to participate in high-impact activities.
Additionally
Linking Words
, fear of injury or falling can
also
Linking Words
 discourage older
people
Use synonyms
 from being physically active.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a
lack
Use synonyms
 of motivation or interest can contribute to their sedentary lifestyle. Some older
individuals
Use synonyms
 may perceive
exercise
Use synonyms
 as monotonous or tiring, leading to a
lack
Use synonyms
 of motivation to engage in physical
activity
Use synonyms
. To encourage older
people
Use synonyms
 to
exercise
Use synonyms
 more, various strategies can be implemented.
Firstly
Linking Words
, raising awareness about the benefits of
exercise
Use synonyms
 through educational campaigns can motivate them to prioritize physical
activity
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can be done through community
health
Use synonyms
 programmes or workshops specifically targeting older
individuals
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, providing tailored
exercise
Use synonyms
 programs that cater to their specific needs and limitations can make
exercise
Use synonyms
 more accessible and appealing.
For example
Linking Words
, low-impact activities like swimming or tai chi can be recommended for
individuals
Use synonyms
 with joint issues.
Finally
Linking Words
, encouraging participation in community-based fitness classes or walking groups can provide a supportive and enjoyable environment for older
people
Use synonyms
 to engage in physical
activity
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, several factors contribute to the
lack
Use synonyms
 of
exercise
Use synonyms
 among older
people
Use synonyms
, including physical limitations, and a
lack
Use synonyms
 of motivation. To address
this
Linking Words
 issue, it is crucial to implement strategies that raise awareness, provide tailored
exercise
Use synonyms
 programs, and foster social support. By promoting regular
exercise
Use synonyms
 among older
individuals
Use synonyms
, we can improve their
overall
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 and well-being, leading to a better quality of life in their golden years.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to further substantiate the points made. For instance, mentioning specific cases where community programs have successfully increased physical activity among older adults could strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the depth of analysis in some parts of the essay. For example, further explore the psychological barriers older adults may face in addition to physical limitations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively encapsulate the main points.
task achievement
Main points are coherently developed and generally supported with relevant examples, contributing to a comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
The essay employs a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, demonstrating a high level of language proficiency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • motivation
  • physical limitations
  • lack of time
  • fear of injury
  • exercise facilities
  • misunderstanding
  • benefits of exercise
  • social support
  • poor health conditions
  • awareness
  • appropriate exercises
  • guidance
  • financial constraints
What to do next:
Look at other essays: