IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it is more important to spend money on road and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
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 spend their profit on
roads
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 and
motorways
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 rather than the means of transport
such
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 as
railways
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 and
trams
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.
This
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 author totally
disagree
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disagrees
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 with
this
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 statement.
To begin
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 with,
roads
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 and
motorways
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 are the most vital to spend their
money
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.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 making a profit on
roads
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 and
motorways
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 cannot develop the countries because the road cannot expand when there are many houses along the road and the government cannot move. Spending too much
money
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 for each family to expand the road. The moto
roads
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 should be repaired in necessary places
such
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 as potholes.
Therefore
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,
money
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 should not be spent on
roads
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 and
motorways
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.
Railways
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 and
trams
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 are the best way to spend
money
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 . As
such
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,
railways
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 and
trams
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 can reduce air pollution by smoking. If
people
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 use too many private cars, they will impact on the environment.
Trams
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 make it easy for
people
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 to go everywhere and just be sedentary in their seats.
In addition
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,
railways
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 will promote the countries because there is more space for the government to build many places to work for unemployed
people
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. China is an example,
this
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 country has a huge negative environment and they must construct many subways for Chinese to go to work and study so it is the popular means of transport in China. In conclusion, some
people
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 believe that
roads
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 and
motorways
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 are the best method
while
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this
Linking Words
 author argues that
railways
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 and
trams
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 are easy for
people
Use synonyms
 to travel.

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introduction
The introduction statement could be clearer. Consider rephrasing to directly address the topic more coherently. For instance, 'It is often argued that governments should prioritize spending on roads and motorways over public transportation systems like railways and trams. However, I completely disagree with this viewpoint.'
paragraph structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and develops that idea fully before moving to the next idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
examples
More specific and detailed examples could strengthen your argument. For instance, citing specific studies or statistics about the benefits of public transport on air pollution would add more weight to your points.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supporting examples
The writer attempts to provide reasons for their stance and includes an example to support the argument about public transport systems in China.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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