Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, more individuals think that kids should begin at
school
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
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early
age
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,
while
Linking Words
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
citizens trust that kids should not go to
school
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till they are older. It must be recognized that
children
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start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
school
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too early will make them lack
of
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apply
show examples
love
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from their
parents
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.
This
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is because, they have to spend almost their
time
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in
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apply
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a day studying, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cut down
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time
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on time
show examples
contact and
talk
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talking
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with their
parents
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, their siblings.
As a result
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,
of
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if
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young
children
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allowing
Wrong verb form
are allowed
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to spend
time
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with their family, they can be more creative, be a person with
good
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a good
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heart and more importantly, be happy.
Therefore
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, it is easy to understand why
children
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should start
school
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at an older
age
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.
However
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, some
parents
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believe that
children
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go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
to at a very young
age
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will make them smart and independent earlier.
This
Linking Words
belief
based
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is based
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on some genius
exposured
Correct your spelling
exposure
exposed
to knowledge when they were a
child
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.
For
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this
Linking Words
reason,
parents
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try to make their
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
going
Wrong verb form
go
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to
school
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as early as
thay
Correct your spelling
they
can,
hope
Wrong verb form
hoping
show examples
they will be another genius someday.
This
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point
maybe
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may be
show examples
true, but young
children
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should spend
time
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with their family,
concentrate
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and concentrate
show examples
on developing their creativity and their compassion for other people
instead
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of knowledge.
This
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writer
believe
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believes
show examples
that
children
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should not start
school
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until they are older.
This
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is
due to
Linking Words
the fact that being given
love
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from their family is important, it
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
to feelings and emotions of a
child
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for the rest of their life. Because of
this
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,
parents
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should not send their
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to
school
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at a very early
age
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.
Thus
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, developing
about
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apply
show examples
compassion and getting
love
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comprehensively from family are essential points that need to be considered.
Hence
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, it should have been shown that
parents
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should not take their
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to
school
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at an early
age
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, they should
love
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and let them develop naturally
instead
Linking Words
.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic and provides your opinion, however, it would benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanation to support your points. Try to elaborate on your ideas with concrete examples or scenarios.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but there are some areas where the flow can be improved. For example, ensure that each paragraph clearly transitions to the next. Using more varied sentence structures can also help in making your argument more persuasive.
general language
Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of singular and plural forms. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument and gave a clear opinion, which is essential for this task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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