Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, more individuals think that kids should begin at
school
in
Change preposition
at
the
early Correct article usage
an
age
, while
others
citizens trust that kids should not go to Correct quantifier usage
other
school
till they are older.
It must be recognized that children
start
Wrong verb form
starting
school
too early will make them lack of
Change preposition
apply
love
from their parents
. This
is because, they have to spend almost their time
in
a day studying, which Change preposition
apply
mean
they Correct subject-verb agreement
means
are
cut down Unnecessary verb
apply
time
contact and Change preposition
on time
talk
with their Wrong verb form
talking
parents
, their siblings. As a result
, of
young Correct your spelling
if
children
allowing
to spend Wrong verb form
are allowed
time
with their family, they can be more creative, be a person with good
heart and more importantly, be happy. Add an article
a good
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why children
should start school
at an older age
.
However
, some parents
believe that children
go
to at a very young Wrong verb form
going
age
will make them smart and independent earlier. This
belief based
on some genius Add a missing verb
is based
exposured
to knowledge when they were a Correct your spelling
exposure
exposed
child
. For
this
reason, parents
try to make their child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
going
to Wrong verb form
go
school
as early as thay
can, Correct your spelling
they
hope
they will be another genius someday. Wrong verb form
hoping
This
point maybe
true, but young Correct your spelling
may be
children
should spend time
with their family, concentrate
on developing their creativity and their compassion for other people Correct word choice
and concentrate
instead
of knowledge.
This
writer believe
that Change the verb form
believes
children
should not start school
until they are older. This
is due to
the fact that being given love
from their family is important, it impact
to feelings and emotions of a Change the verb form
impacts
child
for the rest of their life. Because of this
, parents
should not send their child
to Fix the agreement mistake
children
school
at a very early age
.
Thus
, developing about
compassion and getting Change preposition
apply
love
comprehensively from family are essential points that need to be considered. Hence
, it should have been shown that parents
should not take their child
to Fix the agreement mistake
children
school
at an early age
, they should love
and let them develop naturally instead
.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic and provides your opinion, however, it would benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanation to support your points. Try to elaborate on your ideas with concrete examples or scenarios.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but there are some areas where the flow can be improved. For example, ensure that each paragraph clearly transitions to the next. Using more varied sentence structures can also help in making your argument more persuasive.
general language
Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of singular and plural forms. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument and gave a clear opinion, which is essential for this task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.