IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that politicians are the most influential people in the world, while others believe scientists are the most influential. Which side do you agree with and why? Provide specific reasoning for your answer.

#believe #politicians #people #world #scientists #side
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Many people are certain that
scientists
 have more influence,
while
 others would argue that
politicians
 are more impactful. In my opinion, there is more power in being a politician
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 an expert.
Firstly
,
politicians
 could restrict and limit
scientists
. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 several options
how
Change preposition
for how
show examples
 to get in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 way of science development: laws and regulations, budget cuts or silence
scientists
 in the media.
In addition
, I would say that people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 politics are better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 marketing, and because of
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 manipulate public opinion. Political parties have their own public relations teams,
experience
Correct word choice
and experience
show examples
 with social media and they could just use vague language, be charming and swift public to their side.
Furthermore
, I do not think that getting caught with lies would always harm a political career, it could be just a bump in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 road. There is not a lot of accountability in the world of politics. On the other side,
scientists
 must use facts and somehow explain their vision to the public. They cannot make promises or tell half of the truth, their proposed solutions might be expensive and with no guaranteed results. Because of it
scientists
 and experts are in a worse position from the beginning, as people do not like to hear pessimistic predictions and admit their responsibility. I think that environmental problem is a good example of
politicians
 winning over
scientists
. It is a well-known issue, but still, it is being ignored by governments and society no matter how hard experts try to reach out. In conclusion,
politicians
 hold more power and influence in our society,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is unfortunate and impacts us in a bad way.
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task achievement
Enhance the depth of your task response by providing more detailed reasoning and examples. Elaborating further on how politicians influence public opinion and the intricate ways scientists impact society can give your essay a well-rounded view.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence of your essay by using linking words and signposts more effectively to guide the reader through your argument. Make sure each paragraph clearly transitions to the next, maintaining the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Further support your main points with clearer examples or statistics. For instance, specific instances where politicians have overridden scientific advice can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion which are each fulfilling their general purpose.
task achievement
You have highlighted some realistic dynamics between politicians and scientists, showing insight into practical examples like the environmental issue.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion reiterates your main point effectively, providing a coherent end to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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