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Writing Samples
Band 8

The table shows the distance covered in various modes of transport

The table shows the distance covered in various modes of transport
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The table compares the gap involved in many methods of transport between 1985 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be seen that there was a notable increase in the total average distance travelled per person per year.There was a significant increase in using cars, long-distance length buses, trains, taxis and other transportation
while
Linking Words
 walking,bicycling and local buses declined. In 1985,the average length travelled by car was 3199 long ,which increased dramatically to 4806 long in 2000.Followed by,the train travelled rose substantially from 289 deep to 366 deep,
while
Linking Words
 taxi went up moderately from 13 distant to 42 distant.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the average gap travelled by long-distance bus climbed from 54 long to 124 long and many other methods of shipment went up from 450 deep to 585 deep.All modes of transportation witnessed a significant increase from 4740 long to 6475 long.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the usage of local buses decreased from 239 miles to 274 miles.Both walking and bicycling went down by about 10 miles.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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