Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Proponents believe that, Youngsters are not capable enough to occupy significant government
positions
whereas
, opponent's arguments are that they play a crucial role in
this
regard. In
according to
my opinion, young
people
are able to sustain these
positions
and in
this
essay, I will explain both views. On the one hand, young
people
are unfit for securing vital
positions
in different government sectors because of a lack of experience.
Moreover
, young
people
are impatient owning to their age is not enough to take on
this
type of harsh responsibility.
For instance
, a job in an admin position needs to make prompt decisions under some adverse circumstances.
However
, a young involved in
this
type of career will not be experienced enough to tackle the situation and it will be exacerbated
due to
their impatience. So, an experienced person will be good to occupy the position.
On the other hand
, the young are energetic and updated with various state-of-the-art technologies so they have to contribute more to significant
positions
as well as
the advancement of the country. To cite an example, a career in the army sector needs restless movement at any time anywhere, so the
people
in
this
sector are lethargic, and the country will suffer more.
Therefore
this
type of job for young
people
are best option. Again,
this
cutting-edge era development of technologies is at a fast pace so old
people
are too backdated to capture the working procedures of
this
technology. So, young
people
are indubitably indispensable and can carry out a notion upward with time. In conclusion, there are some drawbacks of young
people
holding significant places in job sectors which will be controllable by proper guidance. So, it is irrefutable that, the young will be a better choice to drive a nation ahead and they will be the reason for future progress.
Submitted by priankajun on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, try to include a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your main points and stance more clearly.
task achievement
While you have addressed both sides of the argument, ensure that your support for each view is balanced in terms of depth and detail. Try to provide an equal amount of evidence or reasoning for each perspective.
task achievement
You have done well in introducing both sides of the argument and presenting your opinion clearly in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow from introduction to conclusion which helps the reader understand your argument clearly.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant positions
  • government
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • political landscapes
  • decision-making
  • maturity
  • emotional reactions
  • resilience
  • fresh perspectives
  • innovative ideas
  • transformative
  • energy
  • creativity
  • demographics
  • representation
  • technological savviness
  • modernizing
  • efficiency
  • public services
  • invaluable
  • diverse mix
  • progressive governance
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