IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems #railways #trams
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In contemporary society, it is argued that the payment on motorways and
roads
 is more crucial than
expenditure
 on public transportation
such
 as trams and railways.
This
 is the writer of
this
 essay who totally disagrees with
this
 notion because of the balance of expense on these two fields. One of the primary reasons considered is that the government costing more
money
 on
roads
 and highway
systems
 aims to improve the quality of the traffic system. It is essential to acknowledge the high quality of
roads
 and highways.
For
this
 reason, it is
also
 safe for all drivers to avoid some holes and obstacles on the
roads
. Take Sydney as a specific example for
this
 statement, the
residents
 always pay annual taxes for updating and renewing their
roads
 and highway
systems
 because they believe that the more
money
 they spend on
this
 activity, the fewer accidents they get when using vehicles on their
roads
.
As a consequence
, the payment on motorways and
roads
 plays a crucial role in the improvement of road
systems
 in most countries now. Another silent point is that the public
transport
systems
 are expensed by all drivers bringing more conveniences for
residents
 in each nation. In light of
this
. The development of using railways and trams in some big cities recommends a larger
expenditure
 on public transportation. When more and more citizens lean towards joining in public
transport
, the pollution in some popular cities reduces dramatically
day
 by
day
. By the way, the number of vehicles
also
 decreased and it avoids the attack of polluted air and unhealthy lifestyle. Japan is particular evidence for
this
 statement that all
residents
 choose railways and trams for going to their workplaces every
day
instead
 of driving their own vehicles.
Moreover
, the local councils believe that the
expenditure
 on their public
transport
systems
 benefits
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all areas in
this
 country and their
residents
also
 have healthy and balanced lifestyles
day
 by
day
.
Consequently
, people spend more
money
 on their
transport
systems
 offer a hand to reduce some pollution problems internationally. Taking all points into account, there is an equation on the
expenditure
 on both road
systems
 and public
transport
systems
.
Hence
, the government should consider to spend approximately
money
 to avoid some pollution problems and decline accidents on
roads
 and highways all over the world.
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task achievement
In your introduction, clarify your position more explicitly and briefly outline the main points you will discuss. This will set a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main argument, and avoid vague language or overly general statements.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explain their relevance in greater detail to strengthen your arguments and support your main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to create a smooth flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will help maintain coherence and cohesion throughout your essay.
task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives (investing in roads and motorways versus public transportation) well, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You included relevant examples, such as those from Sydney and Japan, to support your arguments. This adds credibility and depth to your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the topic, which helps maintain coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • social equity
  • urban development
  • sustainable
  • mobility needs
  • revitalization
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • reliance
  • combatting
  • mitigating
What to do next:
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