Many people around the world using social media every day to keep in touch with other people. And get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?
Nowadays,
people
use social platforms in order to keep in touch with other people
and update news events. This
writer believes the disadvantages of misinformation and cyberbullying are superior to the advantages of connecting to people
.
It is understandable that social platforms are mainly used to make more friends and share information
. However
, there are bullies who shamelessly insult other people
on the Internet and take advantage of them when they have gained their trust. For instance
, bullies can make friends through Facebook, then
trick other users to send them money or ask the victim to fill out a form to get their personal information
.
Another consideration is social media is not a reliable source of information
. Many people
make up misleading stories and spread misinformation. They can post the stories on social media which has millions of users. Reading this
news can cause confusion and anger. This
can lead to misunderstandings and result in conflicts on the Internet. For example
, during COVID-19, many people
spread misinformation and were arrested by police.
Many people
argue that social media has many benefits. It can help people
connect with their loved ones and friends. However
, people
can forge their relatives’ information
and scam them. For example
, in Vietnam, this
type of scam is very common many people
have lost their money and personal details because of it.
In conclusion, the setbacks of scamming and bullying outweigh the benefits of social connection. It can also
lead to information
loss on the Internet and misunderstandings.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You've made a strong attempt to address the task. However, try to expand on your points a bit more. Include more specific examples and develop your arguments further to deepen the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are well-structured. Nonetheless, make sure the progression of ideas throughout the paragraphs is smooth. Use more transitional phrases to connect your ideas clearly and cohesively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, making the overall structure easy to follow.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?