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Writing Samples
Band 7

What are the positive impacts of the TV? What are the negative impacts of TV?

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Affecting people and communities worldwide,
television
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 is in almost every home and has become a significant part of people’s lives today.
While
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TV
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 plays a crucial role in modern society, it brings both positive contributions and negative
impacts
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. In the following paragraph, the dual nature of
TV
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 will be explored particularly in
children
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’s lifestyles.
Television
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 is an important part of every child’s life. It is not bad for them if they are exposed to the right program. The positive
impacts
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 of
television
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 on
children
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 include providing educational content, entertainment, relaxation, socialization, exposure to different cultures and inspiration.
For example
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, educational programs can help
children
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 to develop their language skills, increase their knowledge and improve their curiosity. In 2021, Martin Seligman, a psychologist at Johns Hopkins University indicated that
television
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 improved
children
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’s academic performance. The kids who watched Robo Animation - a
TV
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 program about making simple robots - had achieved better scores in robotic competitions in comparison with the ones who didn’t watch that show.
Television
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also
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 affects
children
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 negatively,
although
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 there are many positive
impacts
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 on their lives. The adverse effects of
TV
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 include
encouragement
Correct article usage
the encouragement
show examples
 of inactivity, negative social development, undesirable behaviour, and consumerism.
For example
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, exposure to too much screen time leads to vision defections. Research by Dr. Nolan at the University of Standford has found a direct link between spending a long time on
TV
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 programs and reduced vision in 2 up to 6 age
children
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.
Such
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children
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 suffer from blurry vision which is corrected by wearing glasses. In summary,
television
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 has both positive and negative
impacts
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 on
children
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.
However
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, in my point of view, the adverse effects seem to outnumber the positive ones. Addiction to watching
TV
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 leads to a lot of physical and mental issues, particularly for
children
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 as mentioned before.

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General Advice
To achieve even higher marks, consider balancing the discussion between positive and negative impacts more evenly, providing equal depth and analysis to both sides.
General Advice
Be mindful of typographical errors, such as 'television is in almost every home,' to maintain a high level of professionalism and accuracy in your writing.
Enhancement Advice
To enhance the argumentation, include more detailed elaboration on how television can lead to negative social development and undesirable behavior, matching the detail given to positive effects.
Enhancement Advice
A stronger concluding paragraph that restates the thesis and summarizes the key points could further improve coherence and cohesion.
Introduction
Comprehensive introduction that sets the stage for the discussion effectively.
Evidence
Use of specific examples and research findings to support points adds credibility and depth to the argument.
Language
Good balance of complex and simple sentences enhances readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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