In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of aging population
In the world countries with sufficient means have an increasing number of older crowd and it is problematic for both individuals and society. In
this
essay, we will explore the underline causes of this
complication and propose practical and effective solutions.
The first trouble associated with an increased number of elderly public is the payment of retirement money, which puts heavy taxes on other citizens. Another dilemma stemming from a large number of the older centre populace is medical responsibility costs because diseases increase more rapidly at a later age. For instance
, American research shows that 95% of diseases occur in an older population and their cost is double for the medical load as compared to the younger generation. Thus
, a surge in older populace has adverse effects on both individuals and society.
Some possible solutions to this
complication are to increase the working time for the community and encourage healthy lifestyle habits. When individuals’ retirement is delayed, they can serve the country, and in this
way, the pension burden will be less and it also
enhances the self-esteem of the older centre. Moreover
, if we promote healthy lifestyles in the population then
the chances of being ill will decrease and money can be saved which is used for medical load. This
way, we can solve the complication of more elderly association people in developed countries.
To conclude
, the increased populace has problems like heavy taxes and medical responsibility costs. However
, if the government takes proper measures like increasing the working period and promoting a healthy lifestyle this
issue can be handled successfully.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure paragraphs transition smoothly. For example, use linking phrases like "Secondly", "Additionally", or "Moreover" to guide the reader.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points by expanding on them with more specific examples and detailed explanations. For instance, providing real-world examples or statistical data for claims about the economic impact can make the argument more convincing.
language accuracy
Review sentence construction and grammar. For example, phrases like "older crowd" and "older centre populace" are awkward. Instead, use terms like "elderly population" or "older generation".
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making the overall structure easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay identifies two main problems and offers two corresponding solutions, ensuring a balanced response to the task.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear focus on the prompt, directly addressing the issue of an aging population in developed countries.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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