IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, tuition
fees
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 can be costed for
students
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 to
study
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 at university in lots of ways. Some think that
students
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 need to spend their own
money
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 paying for all their studies.
This
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 author contends that the government investing
money
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 in
students
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 may not help them mature and manage their
money
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 in the future. It is true that paying the school
fees
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 by oneself has various advantages. It will be the motivation for people to try their best in
study
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 because they know that school
fees
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 are not cheap so they have to
study
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 as hard as they can so their
money
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 is worth it.
For example
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, every university has scholarships for
students
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 who have the best score in a semester.
As a result
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, they will work hard to pay for their
fees
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 at university.
Moreover
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, paying the cost of academic education will make them more mature. The reason is that
students
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 can learn how to use the
money
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 that they earn.
Consequently
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,
students
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 should gain success easily and improve their quality of life more stable.
However
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, there are some reasons that governments should invest in
students
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. It depends on their family's condition and different aspects of life that they have trouble with.
For instance
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, some are poor because their family do not have enough
money
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 to pay for their children's tuition
fees
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.
This
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 is the result of the number of children who can not go to school and hard to be employed. In conclusion, there are lots of benefits to paying their
study
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fees
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 by themself.
Hence
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, knowing how to manage
money
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 can easily succeed in the future.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points to make your arguments clearer. Giving more specific examples and scenarios can strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and make sure all your ideas are logically ordered to improve the flow of your essay.
all
Improve the introduction and conclusion by clearly stating your position on the topic in the introduction and summarizing your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and addresses both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear organizational structure with separate paragraphs for each main point.
coherence cohesion
The essay uses a number of effective linking words and phrases to connect ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
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