In some countries the average weight of people is increasing, and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In the contemporary era, people’s weights have witnessed a significant rise resulting from various reasons, and
this
situation has
also
led to detrimental effects on
health
and
fitness
.
This
essay will discuss the root causes of
this
problem and outline three approaches to address it. One primary cause of the increasing weight is the widespread consumption of fast food. Fast food is often high in calories, fats, and sugars, contributing to weight gain when consumed regularly.
Furthermore
, modern lifestyles have become increasingly sedentary. Many individuals work long hours in desk jobs and spend their leisure time engaging in passive activities
such
as watching television or browsing the internet.
This
lack of physical activity exacerbates the problem. Another contributing factor is the lack of awareness and education about healthy eating and the importance of physical
fitness
. Without proper knowledge, people may make poor dietary choices and underestimate the value of regular exercise. Economic factors
also
play a role, as healthier food options are often more expensive and less accessible than processed and unhealthy alternatives. To address these issues, several measures can be implemented. One possible approach is for governments and public
health
organizations to promote healthy eating through public awareness campaigns. One drawback,
however
, is that
this
approach focuses only on diet and lacks an emphasis on improving
overall
health
.
Therefore
, there is a need for complementary measures
such
as planning accessible parks, walking paths, and cycling lanes to encourage physical activity. A third effective solution is that employers can
also
contribute by creating workplace wellness programs that include
fitness
facilities and encourage regular exercise breaks. In conclusion, the rise in average weight and decline in
health
and
fitness
levels are multifaceted problems requiring comprehensive solutions. By promoting healthier eating habits, increasing physical activity, and enhancing public awareness, we can work towards reversing
this
concerning trend.
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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. Specific examples can strengthen your argument and show a deeper engagement with the topic.
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coherence cohesion
To further enhance cohesion, consider using more varied linking expressions. This will help to clearly signal the transition from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically structured and flow smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
There is a good mix of discussing causes and suggesting solutions, which makes the essay balanced and comprehensive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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