Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?
There is no denying the fact that when we say that
this
country
is a success, we must look for various standards. This
essay will discuss the elements that should be reviewed when evaluating a country
's success, and if there are one factor is more crucial than others.
To begin
with, there are many factors for evaluating a country
. Firstly
, according to
me, I think that the economic sector is important. Also
, it is the foundation for other aspects. In other words
, the countries who study and understand the standard to keeping economic progress,
must reflect on other aspects presented. Remove the comma
apply
In addition
, both education and healthcare depend mainly on the economy
. Likewise
, entertainment plays a major role in improving the country
's economy
. For example
, in 2022, when Qatar hosted the World Champions League football matches, the economy
increased by 70% than the previous year due to
the large audience from all countries which had to go to hotels, restaurants, and shopping in malls.
In terms of equalism between all the factors, from my perspective, I think all of them are connected with each other. It is also
possible to say that admirable education and healthcare these
reflect Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
how progress the Change preposition
apply
economy
.
Add a missing verb
is.
Moreover
, the percentage of workers in the country
indicates whether the economic sector is successful or not. For instance
, according to
a study made in the UK, the most obvious thing that shows if the economy
is successful is a significant decrease in the unemployment rate
In conclusion, there are many standards for successful countries. It is also
true that we can measure that with various factors.Submitted by ahadaloufi3a on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Work on strengthening the logical flow of your arguments. Each paragraph should ideally have one main idea, supported by relevant examples and analysis.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point you make is clearly developed and thoroughly examined. This includes adding more depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as these can detract from the clarity of your essay.
introduction
Your introduction clearly outlines the scope of the essay and what you intend to discuss.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as the case of Qatar hosting the World Cup.
conclusion
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and ties back to the introduction.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?