Throughout the history, people have dream art of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world. How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?
Since
the
life started, individuals Correct article usage
apply
seek
to live in Wrong verb form
have sought
a
excellent environment, but they Change the article
an
have
Wrong verb form
had
not
idea how Correct your spelling
no
this
world
would be formed . However
, the curial
factors Correct your spelling
crucial
lead
to Correct pronoun usage
that lead
this
conditions are the variety in culture, Correct determiner usage
these
religious
and morality Replace the word
religion
as well as
mult
languages. So , to reach Correct your spelling
multiple
to
Change preposition
apply
this
goal people must agree with the minimum criteria of common values and establish global
Correct article usage
a global
language
.
On one
hand, the first issue lead
to Replace the word
leading
disagree
is that every country Replace the word
disagreement
have
own beliefs.if we Change the verb form
has
were looking
around the earth, we notice that each Wrong verb form
look
states
have Change to a singular noun
state
his
own Correct pronoun usage
its
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
to live
and sometimes even in Change preposition
of living
one
land there are lots of various social life.second,
an
Correct article usage
apply
nother
reason Correct your spelling
another
to
disagreement is that every community have Change preposition
for
his
own Correct pronoun usage
its
ways
of speech. Fix the agreement mistake
way
For example
, there was
more than 250 Correct subject-verb agreement
were
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
language
around the Fix the agreement mistake
languages
world
;for this
, Correct article usage
the absent
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the absent
Replace the word
absence
absent
of common features in the universal is a natural result because they Replace the word
absence
have
Add a missing verb
do have
not
common Add an article
a not
language
to contact Change preposition
apply
between
each other.
Change preposition
apply
One
of the best way
to tackle Change to a plural noun
ways
this
issue is determine
common values. Fix the infinitive
to determine
This
process is done by making international agreements and regulations; although
, today there are a lot of international laws but
we need to activate Remove the conjunction
apply
it
to Correct pronoun usage
them
became
more effective. sequences, we need to formula Change the form of the verb
become
one
language
and combat the several existence
languages around the Replace the word
existing
world
. English
Change the article
The English
language
now is the global language
between the
nations, Correct article usage
apply
unfortunately
Add the comma(s)
unfortunately,
this
only
Add a missing verb
is only
in
the official level , we need to admit Change preposition
at
this
through
the social level and Change preposition
at
this
completely by encouraging people to understand Correct determiner usage
apply
one
language
and communicate between them and this
done
through social media and laws.
Add a missing verb
is done
To Sum up
, people have a
aim to enjoy in Change the article
an
one
land in clam
and reassurance. So , the Correct your spelling
calm
numbers
of different cultures and languages may resist them ;Fix the agreement mistake
number
as a result
, we need to solve this
by
social media and regulations. I hope in the near future Change preposition
through
all
the Correct determiner usage
apply
world
have once
Correct your spelling
one
language
and values.Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear but could benefit from further elaboration about what will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to make your argument stronger. For example, mention specific cultures or countries when discussing cultural differences.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea. The first body paragraph discusses more than one point, which can confuse the reader.
task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve clarity. For instance, 'the first issue lead to' should be 'the first issue that leads to'.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to address both parts of the question: what constitutes an ideal society and how to achieve it.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the topic, showing your understanding of the question prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.