IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that zoos should not be exist anymore. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been said that the existence of
zoos
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 is not necessary anymore. The writer strongly disagrees with
this
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 notion as
zoos
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 can protect
animals
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 from danger and
zoos
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 can be a place for
students
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 and teachers to research easily about
animals
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. One of the main reasons why
zoos
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 should exist is
zoos
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 can defend
animals
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 away from dangers in nature and humans.
In other words
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,
zoos
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 can help save endangered species by keeping them in a safe environment, save as in protected from poachers, predators, habitat loss and even starvation.
Moreover
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, the rapid increase of climate change has brought disastrous consequences to animal habitats around the world and thousands of
animals
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 are now threatened.
As a result
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, wild
animals
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 and endangered species will not be preyed
by
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on by
show examples
 predators by being in
zoos
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,
animals
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 are kept apart in
zoos
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 so that one does not feed on another and their habitats are no longer threatened. Another key aspect of why the existence of
zoos
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 is necessary is that
zoos
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 are places where
students
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 and teachers can easily document
animals
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. To explain
further
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,
zoos
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 give people, especially children, opportunities to get closer to nature and gain more insights into other creatures,
zoos
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also
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 make it easier for
students
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 to learn about
animals
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 by seeing them in person. To put it another way, nowadays, many schools and families choose
zoos
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 as camping places as they can not only have a picnic in a fresh and green area but
also
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 create chances for children to observe and learn more about different types of
animals
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 that they used to see in books or television, it is
also
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 easier for researchers to study how to protect rare
animals
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. In conclusion, the existence of
zoos
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 is essential as it can protect the
animals
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 from danger and it is
also
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 a place that makes it easy for
students
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 to learn about
animals
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.

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task achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the task, clearly stating the writer's position and supporting it with relevant arguments. However, it would benefit from more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the points made.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally clear and coherent, but some sentences are lengthy and could be broken down for better clarity. Additionally, transitioning between ideas could be smoother.
task achievement
The essay covers the main points effectively, discussing both the protective role of zoos and their educational value.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and provide a solid structure to the essay.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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