Many people say that the onlu way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course in university eduvation. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It has been said that the only way to have a good
job
is to complete lessons in
university
education
. The writer strongly agrees with
this
notion as
companies
rely on
education
to recruit
employees
and without
education
, it is very difficult to get a good
job
. One of the main reasons why graduating from
university
is necessary to get a good
job
is that many
companies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
focus on
people
who complete a
course
in
university
education
.
In other words
, all of the
companies
want to develop and they have
employees
who can help them, if the
companies
choose
people
who have no knowledge and did not graduate from
university
, they will destroy the
companies
as they do not know everything and knowledge.
As a result
,
people
who did not complete a
course
in
university
education
will be unemployed and may get into doubt. Another key aspect as to why completing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
university
education
is essential to get a good
job
is without
education
, it is very difficult to have a good
job
. To explain
further
, if a person has no
education
that applies for a company or school, their applications might not focus on what the company or school want to find a person has the
education
to work for them and they choose a lot of great applications. To put it another way, nowadays, most
companies
want their
employees
to have an
education
and
then
people
who did not complete a
course
in a
university
education
will be unemployed and they may get into doubt, becoming homeless. In conclusion, completing a
course
in
university
education
is very necessary to guarantee a good
job
as
companies
rely on
education
to recruit
employees
and if one has no
education
, it is very difficult to get a good
job
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance. However, consider including specific examples or statistical data to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which is excellent. However, work on paragraph transitions to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
You have a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for different points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: