Many countries spend a lot of money on improved transport for urban areas while neglecting rural transport. What are the problems associated with this? What are some possible solutions?

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The government seems more interested in investing its budget for

vehicle

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infrastructure

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in the cities than in the outskirts.

This

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leads to a problem like the access to the villages are limited. That could be handled by utilizing the possible

connection

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between the already-built

infrastructure

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and the ongoing one to increase the

connection

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there. Too many city-oriented projects especially in

vehicle

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infrastructures can limit entry to the outskirts. Those infrastructures are essential for the outskirts’ accessibility to the downtown.

Additionally

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, limiting that will quarantine the rural areas from outside regions.

Furthermore

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due to

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that limitation, transporting the supplies there has a lot of challenges.

As a result

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, it will reduce the number of available goods in the counties and that could harden their citizens' lives.

For example

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, food rarity happened in Papua in 2010

due to

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the village-only access being destroyed by an avalanche. Because of that, more than thousands of people died from starvation. That serves as evidence of how crucial

vehicle

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infrastructure

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is for them. One solution to prevent that from happening again is to review the state's plans for building

vehicle

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infrastructure

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This

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could be done by reviewing the already established entry to the village. That approach could be used as the

connection

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to the new

vehicle

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infrastructures.

Consequently

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, it will improve the accessibility in the counties. To illustrate that, when the Indonesian government recently had a massive project to connect capital in the Java region. They are

also

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planning to connect already-built automobile

infrastructure

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to the new ones,

hence

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making a network for both cities and villages nearby.

That is

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the reason why they should utilize the available resources for their new project in their plan. In general, the problem caused by too much focus on

vehicle

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infrastructure

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projects in the city is limiting the outskirts

connection

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. That could be prevented by connecting the already-built

vehicle

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’s

infrastructure

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to the ongoing projects.

arsyiiimuhammad061Thu May 30 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the issue by discussing the problems associated with neglecting rural transport and suggesting a possible solution. However, the introduction could be improved by clearly stating the problems before mentioning the solution. This will give your essay a more structured start.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each point you make is clearly linked to the next. Your essay would benefit from explicit linking phrases and more transitional sentences to guide the reader through your arguments. Currently, some parts feel slightly disconnected.

task achievement

Try to offer more than one solution to the problem discussed. Presenting multiple solutions shows a deeper understanding of the issue and provides a more rounded response.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties back to the main argument. This will help in maintaining a logical structure and improve cohesion throughout the essay.

task achievement

You provide a relevant and specific example (Papua in 2010), which makes your points more convincing and illustrates the real-world impact of the issue discussed.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is clear and easy to follow overall, with each paragraph dedicated to explaining a specific aspect of the problem and solution.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Many countries spend a lot of money on improved transport for urban areas while neglecting rural transport. What are the problems associated with this? What are some possible solutions?

Some people believe that students should be required to wear uniforms in school, while others argue that uniforms restrict individuality and self-expression. What is your opinion?

Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress at work. They should only care about the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Disposing of waste on streets has become a common problem in many countries these days. What are the cause and solutions of this issue?