Many people like having a fixed daily routine, while others enjoy the change in their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #change #lives

It is undeniable that most people prefer stable conditions in their lives including daily routine. On

this

matter, some individuals are reluctant to change their fixed daily activities

while

others are flexible to the changes in their lives. From my perspective,

although

it depends on individuals' predilections, there are inevitable alternations in certain conditions.

Therefore

this

essay intends to discuss both points of view

To begin

with, many prefer having a fixed schedule

due to

several reasons. Familiarity in their current routine is a significant factor, which hinders their transition. It is true that it will be challenging at the initial stage for everyone, which can trigger discomfort.

Furthermore

, it requires sufficient effort and time dedication to become a regular activity. In

this

regard, their lazy mindset may be dragging them to stay in their comfort zone.

On the other hand

, some people accept the changes in their lives for their well-being and its positive outcome.

For example

, if staying up late is not appropriate for their physical and mental health, they attempt to sleep early and have enough sleeping hours to fully recharge their energy for the next day.

As a consequence

, they can perform well at their work or studies.

In addition

, their enthusiasm never hesitates to change their unhealthy diets as well, thereby they always

keep

Verb problem

stay

show examples

in good shape and they reap what they sow.

To sum up

, it can be reiterated that changing lifestyle depends on personal choice.

However

, if it can contribute to an individual's improvement and well-being, it should be considered.

Submitted by ayepwintphyu02 on Thu May 30 2024

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task achievement

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, try to strengthen the examples in your essay. Use specific scenarios or experiences to better support your points.

task achievement

Expand on your ideas to provide a deeper analysis. For instance, discuss the psychological aspects of having a fixed routine versus enjoying changes. This will add depth and clarity to your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your transitions between paragraphs are smooth. While your essay is mostly coherent, a few more transitional phrases would help improve the flow of your argument.

task achievement

Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and logical structure that helps in presenting your argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a personal stance, which wraps up the essay nicely.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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