In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have dissapeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this solution?

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Nowadays, many traditional

festivals

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are disappearing or have already vanished, and it has become one of the major issues in many parts of the world.

This

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essay will discuss the causes of

this

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phenomenon and suggest solutions to counter its negative effects. On the one hand, there are significant reasons caused by

this

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problem.

Firstly

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, as society has rapidly transitioned to the globalisation era. A great number of people have immigrated, and these changes make several new types of culture.

For

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this

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reason, almost all traditional

festivals

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and

events

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are mixed, and even replaced by modern style.

For instance

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, in South Korea, even though there were a variety of conventional

events

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such

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as funerals and holiday ceremonies, some traditions have completely disappeared.

On the other hand

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, there are some suggestions to tackle

this

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issue.

To begin

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with, individuals should consider their local identities. It is undeniable that we can not avoid changing to the modern era. Despite the traditional

festivals

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have reformed, citizens should involve their own traditional aspects in new

events

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. Since these small efforts can protect national identities.

Moreover

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, the government play a crucial role in ensuring the country's traditions. Implementing the campaigns will help improve the public's awareness of conventional

celebrates

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celebrations

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and

festivals

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. In

this

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case, they can encourage many local communities to hold local

events

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by funding.

Therefore

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, these efforts might lead to maintaining traditional

festivals

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. In conclusion,

although

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it is a serious problem these days

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apply

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if individuals and the whole society work together to protect their traditions,

this

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worrying concern will be the problem of the past.

kimjy3329Thu May 30 2024

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task achievement

While the essay covers both the problems and solutions related to the disappearance of traditional festivals, adding more specific examples would strengthen the arguments. For instance, mention particular traditional festivals and how they are being replaced would provide a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

There is a good logical structure in place, but a more explicit connection between ideas would improve coherence. Use more linking words and varied sentence structures to enhance flow. Also, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

language use

Some sentences could be clearer with the use of more precise language. For instance, 'As society has rapidly transitioned to the globalisation era' can be refined to 'As society rapidly transitions into the era of globalization.'

coherence cohesion

The essay has an effective introduction and conclusion that frame the main points well. The introductory paragraph clearly outlines what the essay will discuss, and the concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the points and provides a solution.

task achievement

The main points are well-supported with reasonable arguments. The essay does a good job of presenting both the problems and solutions—there is a clear balance between the two sections.

task achievement

The response is complete and addresses all parts of the question. The essay discusses both the problems caused by the disappearance of traditional festivals and the potential measures to counteract this trend.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have dissapeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this solution?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the extensive use of computers in schools will replace the role of teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

Some people believe that it is parents who teach children to recycle waste. While others feel schools are more responsible. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?