Many old buildings are protected by laws because they are part of a nation’s history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings ? Should history stand in the way of progress ?

#buildings #laws #part #nation’s #history #people #ones #houses #offices #progress

The clash

whether

Add a missing verb

is whether

show examples

to protect old buildings

by laws

Add a hyphen

by-laws

show examples

as they are part of a country’s

history

or to pull them down to make way for not only residential but

also

working sites. In my opinion, it is important to preserve long-standing construction and

history

should not be sacrificed for the sake of progress. Without a shadow of a doubt, age-old buildings serve as historic testaments. And the explanation for

this

could be that we can gain a comprehensive understanding of heritage.

For example

, The Temple of Literature, which is the first university

Change preposition

show examples

Vietnam, plays a crucial role in Vietnam’s education and serves as an ideal place for tourists to gain a deeper understanding of our nation’s educational

history

. To be more specific, the stele inscribed with the names of successful scholars highlights the temple’s role as an academic

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

Hence

, old buildings are tangible links to the past.

While

the redeeming features of conserving antiquated constructions are widely acknowledged,

history

should not hold back the way of progress. It is a key drive to flourish the economic strength. And the explanation for

this

could be that it attracts thousands of tourists who flock every year, either domestic

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

show examples

or outbound tourists.

Moreover

, it generates job opportunities. To be more specific, the Imperial Citadel of Thang Long sells tickets for visitors to drop in in order to understand more about Vietnam’s

history

. So they have to hire more employees ranging from students to adults. By doing so, people’s lives can be enhanced. In conclusion, maintaining historic structures is crucial and they should not impede the way of progress.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Fri Mar 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your main arguments. This helps in guiding the reader through your essay.

Task Achievement

Develop each paragraph fully with one clear main idea supported by detailed examples and explanations. Some paragraphs could be expanded for clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and discourse markers to link ideas more clearly and show the relationship between paragraphs. While your essay has a good logical flow, greater variety would enhance readability.

Task Achievement

Ensure a balanced approach by discussing both views even if you have a strong opinion. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Include a discussion paragraph for the counter-view to enrich your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Revise and refine your conclusion to clearly restate your main argument and provide a summary of your key points. This reinforces your position and provides a strong finish to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
After first imprisonment, a quantity of offenders show a tendency to recidivism and this urgent issue has sparked heated debates throughout the ruling class. In these forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss some of the main reasons and solutions to solve this problem promptly.
7
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In the current period, technology has a significant impact on the world. With the improvement of technology, the harmful and tough content on the internet concentrates several issues in the person's life. Furthermore, several people believe that the government has a core role in shifting this tragedy into safety content; otherwise, many people think differently. In my perspective, the government should censor this phenomenon, but with limitations. This essay will illustrate the reasons behind this situation.
5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to young children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays the advancement of the technology has covered all parts of the globe including the internet and social media .As a result , many teenagers have forgotten the vital role as a human to socialise with others and sharing is caring. I totaly agree with the statement above which I will explain in detail in the following paragraph.
5
band
Many children who are home-schooled are not prepared for university at the same rate of children in government-funded schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?
In present day, some children are being home schooled with private teachers for various reasons. Children who are home-schooled do not get the same opportunity to make contacts and connections or have the same social context compared to their peers who are attending government-funded schools. This essay will explore the causes of this and what consequences this has on the society.
<4
band
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, a lot of countries are becoming identical and it caused significantly to world market. Because now people can buy other country’s products in their own state. From my point of view, it is beneficial development. Because you do not even need to go to other country and waste your time to thing. The second reason is, it will improve economy of each region.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to young children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many children who are home-schooled are not prepared for university at the same rate of children in government-funded schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+