Some people feel that the primary function of a university should be to prepare students for the working world. Others argue that the purpose of a university education is to provide knowledge for knowledge’s sake. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Graduates from high school
purse
Correct your spelling
pursue
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher studies to attain a degree in specific fields and work in related occupations.
Fraction
Correct article usage
A fraction
show examples
of people
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
that a basic responsibility of
such
institutions
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
make them ready for
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
environment.
However
, other people argue that the motive of
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
is to dispense understanding and comprehension. In my perspective, a combination of
knowledge
and practical experience in the field is necessary, to prepare for future various occupations should be the goal of
such
Institutions.
Universites
Correct your spelling
University
Universities
education should be a place of intellectual exploration and critical thinking without only concentrating on job preparation. The
fuctional
Correct your spelling
functional
role of
these college
Change the determiner
this college
these colleges
show examples
is to provide
knowledge
and understanding of
subject
Add an article
the subject
a subject
show examples
, for learning new things and concepts.
This
opens the brain for acquiring the complete
knowledge
of the course and a better hold.
For Instance
, a college student who just started a course at a college
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
also
starts working in a small company for the role.
However
,
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of understanding
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the subject. He was unable to maintain the status of his job.
Therefore
, a complete education about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conceptional learning is significantly important.
On the other hand
,
University
Fix the agreement mistake
Universities
show examples
should
also
focus on vocational training and practice experience to prepare
students
before introducing them to
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
working world.
This
approch
Correct your spelling
approach
may help
students
to adjust and gain some practical experience in the field. To be clearer,
unviristiy
Correct your spelling
universities
should prepare
students
for job searches
along with
providing
knowledge
which helps to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment.
Therefore
,A combined approach might be ideal, where universities provide both practical skills and intellectual development to give
students
a well-rounded education. In conclusion, comprehension and internship together can help
students
in numerous ways. Universities can develop partnerships with industries to provide real-world experiences
while
maintaining a strong academic curriculum.
Submitted by harshitkaur321 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the topic. However, work on refining the first sentence for clarity: 'Graduates from high school pursue higher studies to attain a degree in specific fields and work in related occupations.' This will make your introduction more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally good, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each point of view. However, there are some minor coherence issues — try to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next, and avoid repetition (‘In my perspective’ and ‘In conclusion’ could be more varied).
task achievement
Make sure that your examples and explanations are well-developed and directly related to the points you are making. For example, the sentence 'a college student who just started a course at a college, also starts working in a small company for the role' can be rephrased for better clarity and relevance to the argument.
task achievement
Watch out for grammatical errors and typos, such as 'purse' instead of 'pursue,' 'unviristiy' instead of 'university,' and missing articles ('the' before 'basic responsibility'). These small errors can distract the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, 'moreover,' 'additionally,' and 'furthermore' can be used to connect your ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed both sides of the argument, which fulfills the task response aspect well.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your discussion. This is a strong point in terms of coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vocational training
  • internships
  • practical experience
  • employability
  • intellectual exploration
  • critical thinking
  • job preparation
  • well-rounded education
  • partnerships with industries
  • academic curriculum
  • real-world experiences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: