Some people feel that the primary function of a university should be to prepare students for the working world. Others argue that the purpose of a university education is to provide knowledge for knowledge’s sake. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Graduates from high school
purse
Correct your spelling
pursue
for
higher studies to attain a degree in specific fields and work in related occupations. Change preposition
apply
Fraction
of people Correct article usage
A fraction
think
that a basic responsibility of Change the verb form
thinks
such
institutions to
make them ready for Add a missing verb
is to
working
environment. Correct article usage
the working
However
, other people argue that the motive of an
Correct article usage
a
universities
is to dispense understanding and comprehension.
In my perspective, a combination of Fix the agreement mistake
university
knowledge
and practical experience in the field is necessary, to prepare for future various occupations should be the goal of such
Institutions.
Universites
education should be a place of intellectual exploration and critical thinking without only concentrating on job preparation. The Correct your spelling
University
Universities
fuctional
role of Correct your spelling
functional
these college
is to provide Change the determiner
this college
these colleges
knowledge
and understanding of subject
, for learning new things and concepts. Add an article
the subject
a subject
This
opens the brain for acquiring the complete knowledge
of the course and a better hold. For Instance
, a college student who just started a course at a college,
Remove the comma
apply
also
starts working in a small company for the role. However
, due to
lack
of understanding Correct article usage
a lack
in
the subject. He was unable to maintain the status of his job. Change preposition
of
Therefore
, a complete education about the
conceptional learning is significantly important.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, University
should Fix the agreement mistake
Universities
also
focus on vocational training and practice experience to prepare students
before introducing them to real
working world. Add an article
the real
This
approch
may help Correct your spelling
approach
students
to adjust and gain some practical experience in the field. To be clearer, unviristiy
should prepare Correct your spelling
universities
students
for job searches along with
providing knowledge
which helps to increase the
employment. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
,A combined approach might be ideal, where universities provide both practical skills and intellectual development to give students
a well-rounded education.
In conclusion, comprehension and internship together can help students
in numerous ways. Universities can develop partnerships with industries to provide real-world experiences while
maintaining a strong academic curriculum.Submitted by harshitkaur321 on
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the topic. However, work on refining the first sentence for clarity: 'Graduates from high school pursue higher studies to attain a degree in specific fields and work in related occupations.' This will make your introduction more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally good, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each point of view. However, there are some minor coherence issues — try to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next, and avoid repetition (‘In my perspective’ and ‘In conclusion’ could be more varied).
task achievement
Make sure that your examples and explanations are well-developed and directly related to the points you are making. For example, the sentence 'a college student who just started a course at a college, also starts working in a small company for the role' can be rephrased for better clarity and relevance to the argument.
task achievement
Watch out for grammatical errors and typos, such as 'purse' instead of 'pursue,' 'unviristiy' instead of 'university,' and missing articles ('the' before 'basic responsibility'). These small errors can distract the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, 'moreover,' 'additionally,' and 'furthermore' can be used to connect your ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed both sides of the argument, which fulfills the task response aspect well.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your discussion. This is a strong point in terms of coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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