Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them What are the problems related to do this? What are some possible solution?

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In today's digital age, young
people
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do not spend enough
time
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on
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apply
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taking care of elderly
people
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.
This
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problem can lead to loneliness and safety
accidents
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but can be addressed by the use of
technology
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. The underlying root of the problem is almost caused by elderly
people
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's solitude. Despite fortune families, the regrettable reality is that many old
people
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need more
time
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with their families or
children
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rather than money which is spent on their bank account by offspring.
This
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situation affects parents who have
children
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or daughters who work in a remote workplace that unusually visits them.
As a result
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, old
people
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may feel lonely because nobody around them to talk with.
This
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is true in Vietnam where most young
people
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choose to work in regional companies for a
huge
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higher
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salary than those whose family have not met their
children
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for a long
time
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. Another cause may be the accident that old
people
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can be affected.
In other words
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, today's elderly spend most of their
time
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alone at home, which means a lack of face-to-face interaction with other
people
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.
Consequently
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, elder
people
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may have
accidents
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when nobody around them
such
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as families, neighbours or supporters, showing a lack of safety for older
people
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's lifestyle. In Vietnam, most
accidents
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are caused by old
people
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because they live alone so they do something risky
while
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there is no support around them. Perhaps a solution to the complication of loneliness is to be found in the form of the use of
technology
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that helps the elderly to develop relationships with their family. The most effective approach is to teach them skills to call for their
children
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through
technology
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.
This
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situation leads to motivating older
people
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to talk with their family
at
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on
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any day that makes them feel better and healthier. Strategies
such
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as Zalo, Facebook, facetime or Messenger allow users to have a video call with friends or tribe for free and promote positive energy to
old
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the old
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community.
Thus
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, it can be seen that the elderly problem results in loneliness and
accidents
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.
Therefore
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, it should have been demonstrated that urgent action needs to be taken in the form of the use of
technology
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to motivate old
people
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and increase their relationship with the family.

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task achievement
Your essay covers the key points of the topic, but some ideas could be more clearly developed. Try to provide more specific examples and elaborate on how technology can address the safety concerns, not just loneliness.
coherence cohesion
The ideas in your essay are generally well-organized, but there are areas that could use more transitions to ensure smooth flow. For instance, linking ideas about loneliness and accidents with smoother transitions will help readability.
task achievement
You have given a thorough response to the task, covering both the problems and potential solutions.
task achievement
Your use of technology as a solution is a relevant and modern approach. This shows an understanding of contemporary issues.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with clear paragraphs and a good introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • burnout
  • neglect
  • emotional distress
  • social interaction
  • mental stimulation
  • financial costs
  • community care services
  • respite care
  • telehealth services
  • flexible work arrangements
  • caregiver leave policies
  • support networks
  • emotional support
  • monitoring systems
  • training programs
  • interpersonal strain
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