Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them What are the problems related to do this? What are some possible solution?
In today's digital age, young
people
do not spend enough time
on
taking care of elderly Change preposition
apply
people
. This
problem can lead to loneliness and safety accidents
but can be addressed by the use of technology
.
The underlying root of the problem is almost caused by elderly people
's solitude. Despite fortune families, the regrettable reality is that many old people
need more time
with their families or children
rather than money which is spent on their bank account by offspring. This
situation affects parents who have children
or daughters who work in a remote workplace that unusually visits them. As a result
, old people
may feel lonely because nobody around them to talk with. This
is true in Vietnam where most young people
choose to work in regional companies for a huge
salary than those whose family have not met their Fix the agreement mistake
higher
children
for a long time
.
Another cause may be the accident that old people
can be affected. In other words
, today's elderly spend most of their time
alone at home, which means a lack of face-to-face interaction with other people
. Consequently
, elder people
may have accidents
when nobody around them such
as families, neighbours or supporters, showing a lack of safety for older people
's lifestyle. In Vietnam, most accidents
are caused by old people
because they live alone so they do something risky while
there is no support around them.
Perhaps a solution to the complication of loneliness is to be found in the form of the use of technology
that helps the elderly to develop relationships with their family. The most effective approach is to teach them skills to call for their children
through technology
. This
situation leads to motivating older people
to talk with their family at
any day that makes them feel better and healthier. Strategies Change preposition
on
such
as Zalo, Facebook, facetime or Messenger allow users to have a video call with friends or tribe for free and promote positive energy to old
community.
Add an article
the old
Thus
, it can be seen that the elderly problem results in loneliness and accidents
. Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that urgent action needs to be taken in the form of the use of technology
to motivate old people
and increase their relationship with the family.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay covers the key points of the topic, but some ideas could be more clearly developed. Try to provide more specific examples and elaborate on how technology can address the safety concerns, not just loneliness.
coherence cohesion
The ideas in your essay are generally well-organized, but there are areas that could use more transitions to ensure smooth flow. For instance, linking ideas about loneliness and accidents with smoother transitions will help readability.
task achievement
You have given a thorough response to the task, covering both the problems and potential solutions.
task achievement
Your use of technology as a solution is a relevant and modern approach. This shows an understanding of contemporary issues.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with clear paragraphs and a good introduction and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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