Write an academic essay of about 250 words on the following topic. In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#topic #countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies #support

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In certain countries, there is a growing trend of encouraging young individuals to take a pause

year

between completing high

school

and beginning university studies.

This

practice offers advantages and disadvantages, impacting various aspects of a young person's personal and collegiate development. One of the primary benefits of taking an educational break is the opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.

In other words

, travelling or working during

this

time allows young people to explore different cultures, gain independence, and develop valuable life skills

such

as problem-solving, adaptability, and communication.

For example

, volunteering abroad can foster empathy and cultural awareness,

while

working part-time can instil a strong work ethic and financial responsibility.

Moreover

, by offering a chance for students to clarify their intellectual and career goals through reflection on their interests, strengths, and aspirations, a gap

year

enables individuals to make more informed decisions about their future academic pursuits.

However

, there are

also

potential drawbacks to taking a hiatus

year

, which occur when delaying enrollment in college may disrupt the educational momentum and routine established during high

school

, leading to challenges in readjusting to a structured learning environment. Specifically, when students take a gap

year

, they may interrupt the academic rhythm and habits they developed during high

school

For instance

, if a student has a break to travel abroad, they may miss out on the structured schedule of attending classes daily and studying for exams regularly, which could disrupt their academic routine established during high

school

Furthermore

, there is a risk that some individuals may struggle to re-enter formal education after an extended break, experiencing difficulty in adapting to the rigorous demands of university coursework. In conclusion,

while

having a gap

year

offers numerous benefits like personal growth, self-discovery, and enhanced academic clarity, it presents challenges similar to educational disruption and reintegration difficulties. Ultimately, the decision to pursue a period off should be carefully considered based on individual circumstances and goals, weighing the potential advantages and disadvantages to make an informed choice.

Submitted by gautopsoi368 on Fri May 31 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, providing a balanced view and addressing the topic thoroughly. To further strengthen clarity, consider using more varied vocabulary for describing benefits and drawbacks.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is well-structured with clear introduction and conclusion sections, ensure that the transition between points within paragraphs is consistently smooth. For example, stronger connection sentences could be used to link related ideas.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and sets up the discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, which is further elaborated in the body paragraphs.

supported main points

You have discussed the main points comprehensively with relevant specific examples, such as volunteering abroad and working part-time, which enhances the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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🔶Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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The image explains how Pu-erh ripe tea and raw tea are made

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