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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today, more and more people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some effects of rural recession and the cause of this

#people #areas #city #effects #recession
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In the novel “Of Mice and Men”, George takes the life of his friend. In my opinion, killing Lennie was inevitable, as it meant freeing them from the run from one
place
Use synonyms
 to another and
also
Linking Words
 in some way giving peace to his friend, who was like a big child. Throughout the story, we notice how much he cares about Lennie’s well-being. On multiple occasions we were able to see how easier life would be for George if not for travelling with a friend: “I could get along so easy and so nice if I didn't have you on my tail”. Sometimes George even acted like his father, strict, but caring. I think, even the
last
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 scene was his act of mercy, as somewhere deep in his soul he always knew that there was no
such
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place
Use synonyms
, where Lennie would be welcome. He knew that people from town wouldn’t be leaving them in peace and Curley would find them no matter where they were to get revenge. So by shooting him, he saved him from a crueler fate that was waiting for him in case he would get into the ranch's people. Despite that, there was a possibility to go on another run and again search for a
place
Use synonyms
 to stay, hiding from Curley.
This
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 action had huge risks and in case they were caught together both of them would be killed without any chance for explanation.
Also
Linking Words
, even if they would succeed
this
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 wouldn't mean that the same thing won't happen all over again, like it did in Weed.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it would simply prolong their sufferings. In conclusion, I believe that we can justify what he did, as in the unforgiving world they lived in, there will be no more
place
Use synonyms
 for them to live calmly, because in the end “
ever’body
Correct your spelling
everybody
 in the whole damn world is scared of each other”
Submitted by varvara.osipova.2007 on

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task achievement
To strengthen your essay, it would be beneficial to elaborate more on the repercussions of George's decision beyond just freeing them from being on the run, perhaps considering societal perspectives or long-term effects on George.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, consider using transition words more frequently to enhance logical flow between arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic and sets the stage for your arguments.
supported main points
The essay includes relevant examples from the novel to support each point made, which strengthens the argument and demonstrates familiarity with the text.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, providing a clear ending to the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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