Some people think that the modern communication technology is having negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
the
social networking Correct article usage
apply
site
can lead to Fix the agreement mistake
sites
the
drawbacks Correct article usage
apply
of
society’s relationships. From Change preposition
in
this
writer’s perspective, e-communication is the better way because of the convenience and globalization.
It must be understood that e-communication is more convenience
than traditional one. Replace the word
convenient
Because
Correct word choice
People
people
just need the
internet connection with a mobile phone to Correct article usage
an
login
in the social networking platforms before chatting or calling Correct your spelling
log
to
someone, Change preposition
apply
whereas
in
the past, they Add the comma(s)
, in
must
write their own Wrong verb form
had to
letter
and take Fix the agreement mistake
letters
it
to the post office to give Correct pronoun usage
them
it
to the receiver. Correct pronoun usage
them
Consequently
, it can reduce many complicated steps to communicate, encourage
Correct word choice
and encourage
people
to keep in touch with their relationship
during the trend of Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
spend
most of Change the form of the verb
spending
time
on Correct pronoun usage
their time
busy
working schedule. Taking Telegram as an example, Correct article usage
a busy
people
just need to spend around 2 or 3 minutes to create an account and ready
to communicate with others on that platform.
Turning to other Add a missing verb
be ready
reason
, e-platforms can globalize the way Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
communicate. It do
not have any Change the verb form
does
limitation
for Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
people
to communicate if they all have the
internet connection. Correct article usage
an
Although
the distance can be thousand
Change the article
a thousand
kilometers
, if they have Change the spelling
kilometres
connection
to the internet, Add an article
a connection
people
can chat, call or whatever they want to communicate no matter time
. Correct article usage
the time
As a result
, people
form
Correct your spelling
from
oversea
can share their life or their knowledge with others and can delete the gap of different Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
cultural
, Replace the word
cultures
bring
about Wrong verb form
bringing
the
globalization. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, there are more than 67% of oversea conversation
on the online platform Omegle every day.
In conclusion, social networking Fix the agreement mistake
overseas conversations
site
can be the best way to communicate because of the convenience and globalization. Fix the agreement mistake
sites
Additionally
, development
of e-platforms can result in Correct article usage
the development
advantage
of communication.Add an article
the advantage
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Grammar and Vocabulary
You should work on improving the grammatical accuracy and the range of sentence structures. Avoiding errors and adding variety in your sentences will help make your writing more sophisticated and will improve your score.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Try to enrich your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and expressions. This will make your argument more compelling and your essay more engaging.
Task Response
You need to work on improving the clarity and complexity of your ideas. Make sure each point is clearly made and adequately explained. This will help in delivering a more structured and logical argument.
Task Response
Good use of examples to support your main points. The examples of Telegram and Omegle help to illustrate your points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. They effectively present your stance and summarize the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay, which makes it easy to follow your arguments. The transition between paragraphs is clear, which helps with coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?