Some people think that modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern age, the mass of people believe that state-of-the-art technological methods which are used for communication can impinge on social rapport.
This
writer totally agrees with that statement
due to
the lack of interaction and emotion it causes. It is vital to understand that by using social networking sites , individuals will easily stay in touch with others and connect with those
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
through message apps.
However
, it will discourage real-life interaction between individuals,
thus
this
phenomenon will lead to a lack of connection. To exemplify, citizens just only communicate with people through online messages, which means they will not know the other's voice or looks,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
do not have contact with them.
Hence
, inhabitants will lose direct interaction if they depend too much on social media, which can affect their relationships in society. It should
also
be considered that online messages cannot convey all the emotions and thoughts of the users, so the receivers will not be able to predict other's feelings to adjust their actions. Because of that , transmission technology sometimes causes misunderstanding among citizens, which can negatively affect the rapport between them. Take a record on a BBC as a good example , it showed that there were various reasons for couples to break up,
moreover
, misinterpretation through communication methods is responsible for 70%.
Therefore
, not knowing each other well
while
using online applications is
also
a factor that can have a detrimental impact on an individual's partnership.
To conclude
,
although
there are different explanations to say that up-to-date communication appliances can benefit the users, I believe that the drawbacks
such
as misunderstanding and reduction in intercommunication can influence one's friendship in a negative way.

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coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases. For example, 'social networking sites' and 'social media' can be used interchangeably to vary your vocabulary.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your work to correct minor grammatical errors and improve the overall fluency of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides clear topic sentences and well-supported main points, which enhances clarity.
task achievement
The essay offers specific examples and logical reasoning to support the main argument, showing a strong understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • superficial relationships
  • meaningful conversations
  • notifications
  • long-distance relationships
  • online communities
  • social networks
  • social anxiety
  • digital communication
  • real-world interactions
  • over-reliance
  • detrimental effect
  • inhibit
  • deep social connections
  • distract
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