Some people think that modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effect #relationships

In the modern age, the mass of people believe that state-of-the-art technological methods which are used for communication can impinge on social rapport.

This

writer totally agrees with that statement

due to

the lack of interaction and emotion it causes. It is vital to understand that by using social networking sites , individuals will easily stay in touch with others and connect with those

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

through message apps.

However

, it will discourage real-life interaction between individuals,

thus

this

phenomenon will lead to a lack of connection. To exemplify, citizens just only communicate with people through online messages, which means they will not know the other's voice or looks,

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

do not have contact with them.

Hence

, inhabitants will lose direct interaction if they depend too much on social media, which can affect their relationships in society. It should

also

be considered that online messages cannot convey all the emotions and thoughts of the users, so the receivers will not be able to predict other's feelings to adjust their actions. Because of that , transmission technology sometimes causes misunderstanding among citizens, which can negatively affect the rapport between them. Take a record on a BBC as a good example , it showed that there were various reasons for couples to break up,

moreover

, misinterpretation through communication methods is responsible for 70%.

Therefore

, not knowing each other well

while

using online applications is

also

a factor that can have a detrimental impact on an individual's partnership.

To conclude

although

there are different explanations to say that up-to-date communication appliances can benefit the users, I believe that the drawbacks

such

as misunderstanding and reduction in intercommunication can influence one's friendship in a negative way.

Fri May 31 2024

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coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive phrases. For example, 'social networking sites' and 'social media' can be used interchangeably to vary your vocabulary.

task achievement

Make sure to proofread your work to correct minor grammatical errors and improve the overall fluency of your writing.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides clear topic sentences and well-supported main points, which enhances clarity.

task achievement

The essay offers specific examples and logical reasoning to support the main argument, showing a strong understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

face-to-face interactions
superficial relationships
meaningful conversations
notifications
long-distance relationships
online communities
social networks
social anxiety
digital communication
real-world interactions
over-reliance
detrimental effect
inhibit
deep social connections
distract

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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