Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #communication #technology #effect #relationships

There is an idea that state-of-the-art gadgets used to communicate are badly influencing citizens in their

relationships

This

writer approves of it since it increases the

cyber

crimes

Change the noun form

crime

show examples

rate and encourages people to not face others in real life. On the directly affected hand, it is crucial to acknowledge that the modernization of

communication

technology

is worsening

cyber

crimes

. Following the development of technological equipment, it is functions that are usefully appeared for users

such

as filter and deep fake AI.

However

besides

the benefits those bring about, criminals can

also

utilize them to cause fraud, bullies and fake news easily.

For example

, fraud criminals can apply deep fake and fake voices to increase success levels.

Therefore

, a large number of

cyber

crimes

seemed to be encouraged and appeared immediately.

On the other hand

, the pervasive use of modern

communication

technology

can

also

lead to a decline in face-to-face

interactions

, thereby weakening social bonds. With the advent of social media platforms and instant messaging apps, people often opt for virtual

interactions

over real-life conversations.

This

trend can lead to a decrease in the quality of

relationships

as genuine connections are replaced by superficial online

interactions

Additionally

, excessive screen time can detract from meaningful face-to-face

interactions

, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. In conclusion,

while

modern

communication

technology

has undoubtedly revolutionized the way we connect and communicate, its widespread use

also

poses significant challenges to social

relationships

. From an increase in

cyber

crimes

to a decline in face-to-face

interactions

, the negative effects of modern

communication

technology

on social

relationships

cannot be ignored. It is imperative that individuals and society as a whole strive to strike a balance between the benefits and drawbacks of these technological advancements in order to foster healthy and fulfilling

relationships

Fri May 31 2024

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task achievement

Consider refining the introduction to more clearly state your position. You might want to briefly touch upon the main points you will discuss.

task achievement

Ensure all examples are specific and directly support the arguments made. The essay could be enriched with more concrete examples or data.

coherence cohesion

Work on transitioning between points more fluidly. This will help maintain a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on clarifying some sentences and avoiding awkward phrasing. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay does a good job of addressing both aspects of the issue: the increase in cyber crimes and the decline in face-to-face interactions.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, giving a clear start and end to the argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and logical organization of ideas, with distinct paragraphs addressing different points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

face-to-face interactions
superficial relationships
meaningful conversations
notifications
long-distance relationships
online communities
social networks
social anxiety
digital communication
real-world interactions
over-reliance
detrimental effect
inhibit
deep social connections
distract

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Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people said that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, some people believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both sides.

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The images below explains the process of how pollutants from modern life become acid rain that in turn pollutes the environment and the food chain.

Some people believe that children’s success in adulthood is related to the way they have been raised by their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so that the general public can watch. Do the advantages of allowing this overweigh the disadvantages?